Boundaries. Yes/No?
I Say… …Yes. You must have boundaries for a happy marriage, in my opinion. Through the years, in my experience with counseling couples, I’ve observed that the healthiest relationships and happiest couples are those who have agreed upon clear boundaries. The concept of “boundaries” is natural for some but foreign…
What’s Your Problem?
Arguing Is Futile Unless.. Ever had an argument with someone about something that you finally realized wasn’t even the real problem? It’s tough to find solutions when you’re not even sure what the real problem is. I wonder how many husbands and wives argue and fight over the wrong stuff…
Stop Your Divorce and Save Your Marriage – Conclusion: Your Story
Two Paths Husbands and wives are creating one of two marriage environments: Selfishness Selflessness Compare these two stories: Story Number One: “I managed to get my client half of her husband’s properties overseas and alimony and child support payments of close to $250,000 a year plus the three cars, the…
Stop Divorce And Save Your Marriage Part 13: How Interesting Are You?
Be Anything But Don’t Be Boring Think of the people you enjoy being around. Why do you like them? Now think of the people you most definitely DO NOT enjoy being around. Why? Of the many reasons, is one of them because they are boring to you? Truth is, they…
Stop Your Divorce & Save Your Marriage Part 12: The Case For Marital Friendship
How Friendly Are You (to your spouse)? There was a time when you and your spouse were really great friends. Is this still the case? How friendly are you and your spouse to one another these days? Are you friendlier to others than to each other? We Usually Don’t Divorce…
Stop Your Divorce And Save Your Marriage Part 11: How Nice Are You?
Complimenting & Praising How Nice Are You? How affirming of a person do you think you are? Are you someone who: Gives encouragement? Gives compliments? Gives credit where credit is due? Gives praise? And if so, then do you offer these things to your husband or wife or only to…
Stop Your Divorce and Save Your Marriage Part 10: Before & After Kids
Foggy Memory Remember what life was like before kids? (It’s all kind of a big blur to me.) One question: What did you do with all of your free time! Having children changes things. Time once spent on yourself is now spent on nursing fevers, potty training, chauffeuring, chaperoning, trips…
Stop Your Divorce And Save Your Marriage Part 9: Money & Politics
Money Money Make Money Let’s face it. Care to pick a fight with your spouse? Then just disagree about money. Talk about kicking over the hornets nest. Few things cause greater marital strife than money, especially when times are tough. But even when the economy is great, money is still…
Stop Your Divorce & Save Your Marriage Part 8: Sweat The Small Stuff
Gender Differences Are Not Irreconcilable One of my favorite comedians is Bill Cosby. He claims that gender differences fill a marriage with vibrancy and delight. In other words, women aren’t just “men” who can happen to have babies. And men aren’t just “women” who have a thing for spiking footballs….
Stop Your Divorce & Save Your Marriage Part 7: How to Save Your Marriage
THE CASE FOR MARRIAGE For the past several weeks, we’ve discussed some of the myths and assumptions that surround divorce. One of the reasons is to raise awareness that divorce might not be the best (or even a very good) pathway out of an unhappy marriage. There are definite advantages…