Stop Your Divorce & Save Your Marriage Part 12: The Case For Marital Friendship
How Friendly Are You (to your spouse)?
There was a time when you and your spouse were really great friends. Is this still the case?
How friendly are you and your spouse to one another these days? Are you friendlier to others than to each other?
We Usually Don’t Divorce Our Friends
Think about it. We usually don’t divorce our friends over minor conflicts and misunderstandings; we work things out.
Here’s a thought: What if we interacted with our spouse as one of our best friends – do you think it might impact any thoughts or decisions we might have about seeking divorce?
I think that if we treated our spouse like we do our closest friends then there would be a much lesser need in our world for divorce attorneys.
Is Love Less Permanent Than Friendship?
It seems that friendship is more durable than marital love. What do you think, is it?
If it is (and I’m not saying it is) then our spouse must be much more than our partner and lover – he or she much also become our best friend.
We often read about loveless marriages. But I wonder if a loveless marriage is the natural outcome of a friendless marriage.
Irritations, frustrations, and annoyances, if left unresolved, can cause couples to drift apart. So we should ask ourselves, what would two friends do in that situation?
Building Blocks Or Barriers?
It seems to me that we have a choice as to whether we will let irritations, frustrations, and annoyances become building blocks for a deeper friendship or barriers to marital happiness.
If we decide to make them building blocks, then I think we can safely say that we are on our way to a happy marriage that overflows with the deepest joys of friendship.
It’s About Friendship!
Authentic friendship between a husband and wife is the basis of enduring love and a lasting marriage.
When you are truly friends, you will go through anything together because we never let our friends down. Friendship breathes new meaning into the words, “…in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse.”
Friendship creates a safe place – a shelter – a refuge that can withstand any storm that life throws at us.
How Friendly Is Your Marriage?
When we think about friendship, several traits and qualities come to mind:
- shared interests
- companionship & fellowship
To what degree can these qualities and traits be found in your marriage?
If you are a good friend to your spouse, then you will be his or her staunchest supporter, and thoughts of betrayal would never cross your mind.
Marital friendship strengthens a marriage, fills it with joy, and reinforces it when things get tough.
Don’t get me wrong, the concepts of romance, passion and heat are great (and essential), but what we need more than anything else is the kind of friendship that marriage creates between two people when they decide to become husband and wife.
Marital friendship helps us to cope with our fears, worries and insecurities. When a husband and wife are best friends, then they have the ability to recover from anything; they can repair, rebuild and restore.
Friendship And Familiarity…
There’s an old saying that says, “Familiarity breeds contempt.” It doesn’t have to. I believe familiarity can breed content.
Friendship fills a marriage with warmth, satisfaction, and reassurance because that’s what friends do for each other.
Genuine friendship doesn’t focus on the “I” but on the “us.”
Take time to celebrate friendship with your spouse because when you do you will be mad about marriage again.