Two Paths

Husbands and wives are creating one of two marriage environments:

1. Selfishness
2. Selflessness

Compare these two stories:

Story Number One: “I managed to get my client half of her husband’s properties overseas and alimony and child support payments of close to $250,000 a year plus the three cars, the country home, his art collection and half of his stocks.”

Story Number Two: “I didn’t really do anything special that I can be proud of, except perhaps provide adequately for my family and raise good children. Happily, they turned out to be well-abiding citizens and I guess that’s the best reward there is.”

Story number one is filled with greed, selfishness, anger and hatred.

Story number two is filled with selflessness, humility and kindness.

Which story would you rather have?

It’s Not Too Late To Change Your Story

Life isn’t easy. Marriage is one of the most difficult challenges you will ever face. Regardless of where you are right now in your marital relationship, it’s not too late to change your story.

Marriage is more than a commitment it’s a covenant founded on a sacred promise that you made to each other.

Staying happily married is a life-long learning experience and journey – it’s a kind of school from which we never graduate. Marriage takes guts. You have to have courage and a heart of steel to make marriage work.

Humor & Grace

One thing that helps is humor for it keeps a marriage warm, happy, and fun.

Laugh more. Laugh often. Smile.

Do whatever it takes to get rid of self-importance.

Try this: Serve your spouse more and think of yourself less – and do it graciously with a smile.

There Will Always Be Challenges – With Anyone & Everyone

You will face challenges and obstacles that make you question if staying married is worth it.

But here’s the deal: You will always have challenges – we all do! If you divorce and remarry then guess what? That’s right – you will face challenges with that spouse, too. It’s impossible to run away from problems and challenges because it’s impossible to run away from yourself; challenges and problems are life’s way of helping us to learn and grow.

Marriage problems and challenges might make you wonder if getting divorced is the best pathway out of misery and getting back to being happy again. But when these moments arise, hang in there and see the situation through.

The Same Person

Believe it or not, your husband or wife is the same person you fell in love with.

So maybe all you really need is to fall in love with them again because you’re the same person, too.

Please don’t choose a permanent “solution” (divorce) to solve temporary pain (marital problems).

You can always get divorced.

Besides, divorce is the only way to end your marriage – but you have literally hundreds of ways to save your marriage.

Save Your Heart

So, which story will you choose, the first one or the second one?

Going to throw in the towel, or are you up for the challenge?

Sure, there are good reasons for avoiding divorce like saving your money or reputation. BUT… avoiding divorce to save your heart is the best reason.

Give Yourself Time

Give yourself time to heal and save your marriage – whether it takes six months or six years – because time works for you not against you.  It’s hard for a person in their twenties and thirties to understand what I just said because the idea of “giving yourself time” and taking all the time you need even if it means investing several years into something is a perspective that matures with time (truth is, though, it won’t take you years to repair your marriage).

Give yourself time.

Embrace the journey.

You can receive life’s lesson and choose to grow, or you can choose to experience only pain and get divorced.

So if your marriage isn’t enjoyable, fun or fulfilling right now, I urge you to stay the course. Give yourself time to reach the point in your life where turning your back on the most important investment your heart has ever make is the furthest thing from your mind.

Give yourself time to be mad about marriage again. And the day will come, trust me, when you will know in your core that saving your marriage was the best decision you ever made…and you will be so grateful that you did.