6 Ways To Avoid The Relationship “Cliff” And Save Your Marriage In 2013
As I’m writing this, the United States House and Senate have just passed legislation to avoid the infamous fiscal cliff.
It’s all we’ve heard about for weeks. And for some reason our elected leaders in Washington appear unable to work together until facing an all-out “apocalyptic” melt down of some kind.
It’s a dangerous game because one of these times their brinksmanship will be taken too far causing damage that is beyond repair.
ARE YOU FACING A RELATIONSHIP CLIFF?
What we’re witnessing in Washington is more than just politics. It’s human nature.
When you stop to think about it, what we’re seeing in these elected officials is similar to what we see in relationships everyday.
Everyday, because of human nature, countless marriages face gridlock, communication gaps, brinksmanship, and strained relations.
So let m ask you, are you facing a relationship cliff in 2013?
Would you like to have a better marriage this year?
Are you willing to roll up your sleeves and do the necessary work to save your relationship and have a happy marriage?
Here are six ways to avoid a relationship cliff in 2013 and save your marriage (and have a happier & healthier marriage, too).
1. CHOOSE TO GET ALONG
We don’t get everything we want. To expect that we should, or think that we can, is immature at best or utter selfishness at worst; and it is a train wreck waiting to happen.
So what do we do?
We do two things:
We choose to get along (there is a BIG difference between choosing to get along and being forced to get along)
And then we compromise.
Compromise is a good word. True, there are certain things that we should never compromise on. But you know as well as I that there are many more issues in life where compromise is reasonable.
Do you want to avoid the relationship cliff in 2013 and save your marriage? Then choose to be reasonable — choose to get along with your spouse and compromise.
The second way to avoid the relationship cliff in 2013 and save your marriage is to:
2. BE OPTIMISTIC AND RESPONSIBLE
Want to know two things that will kill your relationship fast? Pessimism and blame.
If this describes you then you need to start making changes right now because you are risking losing your marriage.
Whether you will be optimistic or pessimistic is a choice. Whether you will be responsible or cast blame is also a choice.
You have faults. And you need to take responsibility for those faults and the trouble they cause. BUT you also need to be optimistic about those faults because YOU have the power to change; you’re in control.
So stop looking for a way out. Be optimistic and take responsibility for making your marriage better
The third way to avoid a relationship cliff in 2013 and save your marriage is:
3. GET A NEW HAPPINESS METER
Many relationships get into trouble because of a faulty “happiness meter.”
Your happiness meter is faulty when you equate accumulating material stuff with happiness.
So, in 2013 embrace authentic happiness – celebrate life’s little moment’s of pure joy like playing hide and seek with your kids, or leaving a love note for your husband or wife, or hearing your son or daughter pray for you at bedtime.
The fourth way to avoid the relationship cliff in 2013 and save your marriage is:
4. IF YOU WANT A BETTER SPOUSE THEN BE A BETTER SPOUSE
The only person you have the power to change is you. Want a better spouse? Then be a better spouse.
It is an immutable law that we reap what we sow. So if we’re looking for a change in a certain person then we need to become that change in ourselves first. And if the other person does not change then we will at least be left with the blessing of an improved life – our own.
The fifth way to avoid the relationship cliff in 2013 and save your marriage is:
5. BE FORGIVING
An unforgiving attitude will kill a relationship.
The stern attitude of tit-for-tat has to go. There’s no room for it in 2013.
You have faults and your mate has faults. You make mistakes and your mate makes mistakes. You hurt your spouse and your spouse hurts you. What is needed is an attitude of forgiveness.
And it starts with you.
Forgiveness has the power to melt away all of your bitterness, resentment and grudges.
Want to have a healthy and happy marriage? Then forgive. Forgive freely and often.
The sixth way to avoid the relationship cliff in 2013 and save your marriage is:
6. REMEMBER GOD
There is more to life than what we see. What we see with our heart is more important than what we see with our eyes. This is spirituality.
Spirituality lifts a marriage above meaningless mundane. It makes two people truly one. And it offers us the chance to experience real love.
Here are three quick tips for adding spirituality to your marriage in 2013:
1. Express Gratitude. Tell your spouse how grateful you are that they are in your life. List some of their qualities for which you are the most grateful.
2. Get Into Nature. Being in nature draws the soul nearer to God. Plan an adventure that you both will enjoy that gets you into nature. Take a journal and a camera – and some uplifting music, too. And while you are out there, hug your mate – pull them close and whisper into their ear, “I love you.”
3. Pray. Pray for your spouse. And Pray WITH your spouse. If you’re afraid or uncomfortable to pray with your spouse at first, then simply start by praying for them. Decide right now that you will pray for them every day. And make it a goal to pray WITH them sometime before this month is over.
So there you have it. Six ways to avoid the relationship cliff in 2013 and save your marriage.
Put this advice into practice today. Start with just one of the six if need be. But get started right now so you can be mad about marriage again in 2013!