The Balancing Act: Letting Go Of The Need To Control Everything And Finding Harmony For A Happier Marriage
Balance isn’t something you find. You create it. And as chaotic as modern life can be, you can have balance. It can be challenging to always get it right, especially when embracing life’s spontaneity while creating an efficient routine to make the most of your time and opportunities.
Many people mistakenly assume that exerting greater control is the holy grail of creating balance. This is not true. Stepping into an overly controlling life stresses you out and makes you anxious, keeping you coiled tight in tension.
Finding balance is about taking charge and living life on your terms while mastering the art of letting go at the same time.
Control is an Illusion
Control is the idea that you can dictate all outcomes throughout your life. You can control certain things, like the effort and study you put into something, from earning a degree or certification, the results at the gym, to the harmony you have in your marriage. The result is largely in your hands.
But have you noticed how most things in life seem somewhat unpredictable? So, the more you cling to the illusion of control, the more stressed you become and the more frustrated and disappointed you feel when things don’t go your way.
You will have greater peace of mind by acknowledging there are limits to what you can control.
Make Peace With Uncertainty
Some of life’s greatest moments surprise us from out of nowhere. Variety and uncertainty can be rich gifts that shift your perspective and strengthen you, giving you the skills and wisdom to navigate new situations with grace and peace.
Many fight change and uncertainty, but they can be blessings in disguise. So lean into them and recognize a chance for growth.
Cultivate Awareness
Being fully present and cultivating awareness helps one detach from the desperate desire to control everything in their elusive pursuit of certainty.
Focus on the present—be in the moment—to find peace and enjoy clarity instead of living in the past, obsessing about the future, or missing out on the present by dopamine-fueled scrolling on your phone.
What Can You Control?
By understanding how limited your control is and what you can control, you can focus your efforts and energy on areas under your complete control to live your dreams and achieve your goals.
This gives you a deep sense of empowerment without the added burden of managing something that’s unmanageable.
The Journey
Letting go isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s admitting you are human. Sometimes, you must make peace with life and surrender to the journey, especially if you’re a person of faith committed to God’s divine leading in your life, work, and marriage. Life has a way of working things out without needing you to control and micromanage every detail. Creating balance has much to do with prayer and relying on Divine power and wisdom.
The Joy of Imperfection
Creating balance is hard for perfectionists who like to control; they become harsh and exacting with themselves and others, and their souls are always restless. Learning to embrace imperfection is part of the art of letting go because you’re letting go of the idea that everything needs to be flawless. This frees you from unrealistic expectations, especially for your marriage, because one of the biggest sources of frustration for spouses is trying to change and control their wives or husbands. When you can find joy in imperfections, your life can flourish.
The Joy and Peace of Self-Compassion
You should be compassionate with yourself. Not indulgent, selfish, or arrogant; be compassionate, especially when you make mistakes and things don’t go as planned, and it’s because of you. Guess what? Please cut yourself some slack by making peace with the truth that you don’t have it all figured out and never will. Mistakes are part of the human experience and training process. Be kind to yourself.
Final Thoughts
Leaning into life and letting go of control is an art that takes practice, resilience, and patience. Make an intentional effort to loosen your grip on those reins so you can finally find harmony in life and enjoy every moment as you unlock your best life and marriage.