It’s easier to keep your head down and go with the flow and not cause any trouble than to rock the boat by standing up for what you want from love and life. 

And, there’s nothing wrong with that IF all you want is an average life and an unfulfilling relationship with your romantic partner. 

You can go with the flow and let others do your thinking for you. But when you do, know that you’re living their life, not yours.

You can allow them to influence the kind of relationship you should have with your partner and order your life around their beliefs, values, and standards. People do it every day. 

You can choose to blend in and follow the crowd, or you can choose to be happy.

Blind obedience in the quest for approval and validation comes from a place of irrational fear. 

Here are just a few drawbacks that come with mindlessly following the crowd.  

The Herd Mentality

How often are you tempted to follow the latest trends in music, fashion, technology, accessories, or adventures? At first blush, it might not seem like a big deal, but it’s a double-edged sword.

On the one hand, you want to be in the know and fit in. But doing everything to fit in won’t guarantee that you’ll be accepted by the “gods” of social media or gain the approval you crave from people you want to impress.

Here’s a question, is external validation and approval worth seeking anyway? Especially when it comes to your marriage or romantic relationship with your partner?

Here’s something else to consider. Marketing companies invest a LOT of money and effort to create ads and commercials that put us in a trance-like state. Why? So we’ll line their clients’ pockets with our money.

They lead us to feel that we must have what they’re selling in order to be accepted, happy, and satisfied with life, or to be cool. What do we do? We run out, overspend, get into debt, getting nowhere fast on the hamster wheel of happiness.  

Be Brave

Try not to fall into that trap. It’s an illusion. Do your own thinking. No one cares about your life more than you. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is live your life on YOUR terms, regardless of what people expect or think. You don’t need their approval anyway. 

Stand your ground. Voice your opinions. 

If you like a particular trend, great! Go for it! 

What if you don’t like a certain song, fashion item, or what society says is a “healthy” marriage? Then, stand your ground and respectfully express what you believe and feel. 

Maybe they won’t like you, but they will respect you. They will remember you as a brave person of conviction who stood up for themselves and what they believed. Otherwise, you’re just another “citizen” in the Matrix who follows the trend like a flock of sheep.

GroupThink

Coined in 1972 by Irving Janis, GroupThink is a powerful psychological phenomenon. GroupThink is basically when one or two people cave to avoid conflict. They believe they’re doing it to fit and be accepted and not cause any unnecessary trouble. 

But this causes a host of other problems. Sometimes you must take a stand and be disruptive; otherwise, nothing would ever change! We need to question the status quo. We must challenge rules, standards, and policies that are unfair or oppress others. 

Never agree with something without checking alternative options. Check-in with yourself and ask, Does this feel right to me? Do I agree with what’s being said or done? Does it make me happy? Sad? 

But it goes even deeper. When you mindlessly follow the crowd and keep your ideas and opinions to yourself, you deprive others of amazing new concepts that could expand thinking and help people grow and evolve. When we collaborate and share, a new perspective is created. Keeping our thoughts and feelings to ourselves slows innovation and progress.

Throwing out ideas left and right is how successful partnerships and corporations thrive. They absorb everything being said. Then, filter out the doable from the not-so-doable. It’s called brainstorming. 

The holiday season is upon us. It seems everyone is obsessed with the latest fashions and trends as they scramble for last-minute gifts. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it! But this year, why not remove yourself from the hustle and bustle for a few minutes to observe what’s happening around you and decide to give yourself the gift of thinking for yourself. It’s one of the keys to unlocking your best life and having a happy, fulfilling relationship with your romantic partner.