Things You Will Discover About Your Partner in the First Year of Marriage
No matter how much effort you put into getting to know each other before marriage, there are some things that you won’t find out until you are in your first year of marriage. You may already know your spouse’s likes, dislikes, fears, dreams and aspirations but you probably don’t know how messy they truly are or what time they go to bed. These things may seem unimportant – which is probably why they are rarely covered in articles on “questions to ask before marriage” – but they can greatly affect married life.
Here is a list of things you probably won’t know about your spouse before marriage so that you know what to expect.
Many people don’t find out what time their partner goes to bed, whether or not their partner snores, whether their partner is a heavy sleeper who falls asleep immediately their head hits the pillow or a light sleeper who has trouble falling asleep, until after they are married.
Having different sleep schedules and habits can be a source of conflict in marriage. For instance, if one person snores loudly and keeps the other from falling asleep, the person who didn’t get enough sleep will more than likely be grumpy in the morning.
Most people try to put their best foot forward when dating. Therefore, most people don’t find out how messy their partner is or how good their partner’s personal hygiene is until after they are married.
It is not uncommon for spouses to have different opinions on just how much hand washing, showering, brushing, flossing and shaving is necessary. Differences in personal hygiene can inhibit physical intimacy. Unfortunately, personal hygiene is one of the most difficult subjects to broach – especially in the first year of marriage.
Stress coping mechanisms
You probably feel like you already know how your spouse responds to stressful events such as getting stuck in traffic. However, what you may not know is how your spouse copes with long-term stress. For instance, you may not know how he or she will react if the two of you find yourselves in a difficult financial situation for months or years.
Different stress coping mechanisms are another source of conflict in marriage. For instance, if one of you needs more downtime when they are stressed and the other needs to talk about the problem in order to feel better, you’ll drive each other crazy in the first year of marriage. It will take time for you to understand each other’s coping mechanisms and figure out how to work with those differences.