The modern world has created a lot of confusion regarding the roles of the wife and husband in marriage. Most of the traditional gender roles are considered outdated and it is no longer clear who does what. This confusion has compelled many Christian couples to want to know what the bible says about marriage and the roles of the wife and husband in a biblical marriage. Thankfully, the scriptures are clear about this.

The Husband’s Role in a Christian Marriage

Leadership

The bible makes it very clear that the responsibility of leadership in marriage falls squarely on the husband’s shoulders. 1 Corinthians 11:3 says that “Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.”

This scripture is often misinterpreted to mean that women are viewed as second-class citizens. However, this isn’t true.  The scripture states that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. A good husband loves his wife unconditionally and is a servant leader just like Christ.

Unconditional Love

In Ephesians 5:25 the bible commands husbands to love their wives just as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself up for her.” A husband’s love for his wife should not be based on her actions. He should respect, affirm and love her at all times.

Sacrifice

Sacrificial action is an integral part of the husband’s role as the head of the home. Again, Christ is a wonderful example of this. He demonstrated servant leadership by washing his disciple’s feet. In marriage, being a servant leader means ensuring that the wife’s material, emotional and spiritual needs are met.

The Wife’s Role in a Biblical Marriage

Being a Helper

God made woman to be man’s helper. In the Bible, the word “helper” is only used to refer to Eve, during creation, and God himself. This means that being a helper comes with tremendous power. It is the wife’s responsibility to help the husband become all that God wants him to be, in the same way that God helps us become who he wants us to be.

Showing Respect

In Ephesians 5:33, the bible commands wives to respect their husbands. This means revering, admiring and honoring their husbands. A good wife values her husband’s opinions, admires his values and character, and is considerate of his needs, such as the need for self confidence and the need to be needed.

Submission

This is one of the most highly debated and misunderstood roles of being a wife. In Colossians 3:18-19 the bible says “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” However, submission has nothing to do with blind obedience or women being inferior to men. It has more to do with the wife entrusting herself to her husband.

Submission goes hand in hand with the husband’s role of leadership. In submitting, the wife gives the husband the opportunity to become the leader God wants him to be and fulfill the roles of a husband in a biblical marriage.