The Right Way to Argue with Your Spouse When You’re Having Marital Problems
Arguments are inevitable in marriage. In fact, having small disagreements here are there can be a sign of good communication in marriage. Unfortunately, arguments don’t always stay small and meaningless. Depending on how they are handled, small arguments can develop into major fights and cause serious marital problems.
Many married people don’t realize that there is a right way to argue with their partners. They think that they can be mean and say harsh words in the heat of the moment and then go back to being happily married when the argument is over.
Arguing with your spouse the right way
It is possible to argue with your spouse without ruining the bond between the two of you. You just have to follow the following tips.
Raising your voice during an argument can cause a petty quarrel to turn into a full blown fight. To avoid this, you need to keep your tone, language, body language and temper in check.
Silent treatment is just as bad as yelling.
Giving your spouse the silent treatment will not cause the disagreement to go away. All it does is allow things to fester you can’t take it anymore and blow up. It is also frustrating for your spouse because they feel like they are talking to a wall. If you are going to resolve your marital problems, you need to keep the lines of communication open.
Don’t fight in front of other people
When you argue in front of other people, especially family and friends, you are essentially giving them a license to meddle. Needless to say, their meddling can only things worse. For instance, they may pick sides in the argument and gang up on the person they feel is wrong. Even those who don’t meddle will still feel awkward around you. Keep disagreements between you and your spouse private and don’t wash your dirty linen in public.
Don’t bring up the past
It is natural to remember past arguments and wrong doings when you are upset. However, you should not use past arguments as armor in new arguments. Focus on the current issue and resolve it first before bringing up unresolved relationship issues from the past. Otherwise, you’ll just add fuel to the fire and make the current issue harder to resolve.
It is not wrong to disagree and argue with your spouse. However, there is a right way to argue with your spouse when you are having marital problems. It involves staying calm, keeping the lines of communication open and not bringing up the past.