Has your spouse hurt you so deeply that you no longer feel any love or affection towards them?

The truth is that love and affection cannot coexist with hurt and resentment. As long as you are holding on to the pain that your spouse has caused you, your emotional connection will suffer. The key to falling in love again is letting go of that pain.

Remember the good times

Spend some time reflecting about the good times you have had with your spouse. Think about how you fell in love, your dating experiences, your wedding, your honey moon, the day you brought your first child home and all the other happy moments you have shared. Old photo albums, scrapbooks and journals can help to jog your memory.

Recalling good times helps to reignite the emotional connection you once shared with your spouse. It makes you want to create more happy memories with your spouse, which is the first step to falling in love again.

Forgive your spouse

There is no way for your spouse to change the past or erase what happened. Therefore, if you want your marriage to work, you’ll just have to find a way to forgive them. Holding on to anger, hurt or resentment will destroy any chance of a happy marriage.

Forgiveness is not fair. If you find yourself thinking that your spouse doesn’t deserve forgiveness or hasn’t done enough to make up for their mistake, remember that forgiveness frees you from the hurt and anger so that you can move on.  Ask God to give you the grace to forgive your spouse.

Do not speak ill of your spouse

Never bad mouth your spouse in front of others. Even when you are fighting, the two of you should remain united in the eyes of others. Speaking ill of your spouse is the same as handing armor to the enemy. It is also disrespectful to your spouse and your marriage.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t vent or share your problems with your friends. Just make sure you don’t bad mouth your spouse or make them look like the bad guy.

Court your spouse

If you want to win your spouse’s affection, you’ll have to court them. Take them out on a date e.g. dinner, the movies or a concert. Make them feel alive and desirable.

Also, try paying a little more attention to your appearance. Get a haircut and dress up for your spouse. Being attracted to each other is part of the process of falling in love again.