Intimacy in marriage is fragile.  For most people, the ability to be intimate depends on how they are feeling emotionally. They find it hard to be intimate with their spouses when they are angry at them. Intimacy is influenced by and can be destroyed by many things including:

The way you speak to your partner

Always speak to your partner lovingly and respectfully. Avoid being condescending towards them, cutting them off when they are speaking or yelling at them, even you are angry. Doing so can destroy their self confidence and their ability to trust you, and there cannot be intimacy without trust.

The way you show your partner love

It is important to love your partner in the way that they want to be loved. This means knowing and speaking their love language, be it physical touch, acts of service, quality time, gifts or words of affirmation. In addition, you also need to let your spouse know the kind of love you need. If one of you feels unloved, intimacy will suffer.

The way you ask for love from your partner

Demanding love from your partner can push them further away from you. It makes you appear needy and less desirable. Love breeds love so what you need to do is to be loving towards your partner. As long as you are in a healthy relationship and your partner knows your love language, he/she should reciprocate your love.

The way you deal with conflict in the marriage

Always be loving and caring towards you partner, even when they have wronged you. Don’t treat them like a criminal; give them the benefit of the doubt and a chance to explain.

Once you have had an honest conversation about the issue, forgive your partner and let things go. This applies whether or not you get the apology you think you deserve.

Intimacy in marriage is influenced by many things including how a couple communicates and how they handle conflict in their marriage. Married couples need to understand this in order to have a fulfilling marriage.