Dealing With A Big Age Difference in Relationships and Marriage
Couples with a big age difference face special challenges. There is almost always opposition from friends and family members who have different views on age difference in relationships and marriage. In addition, if the age difference is noticeable, couples often have to deal with stares and judgment from complete strangers. This can affect the way they relate to each other and make marriage a bit harder for them.
Moreover, such couples often have different world views due to the difference in life experience. The older person is likely to have more experience in dating, careers and a variety of other areas, whereas the younger person may just be getting started in life and enjoying their youth. This can lead to more arguments and conflict, especially when the couple cannot agree on the best course of action in a given situation.
If you are in an age gap marriage, here is some advice on how to handle age difference in relationships
Dealing with family, friends and strangers
The negative comments and attention from family, friends and even strangers is probably not going to stop anytime soon. The best way to deal with it is to be happy and confident in your relationship. Other people’s doubts and negativity will not have a significant effect on your marriage if you are happily married. However, if you have some doubts of your own, other people’s comments will only make them worse.
You may also want to find a support group that doesn’t include your friends or family, especially if they are opposed to your marriage. Begin by actively seeking other couples who are in a similar situation. There may already be some in your current social circle, church or places of work. If you can’t find any, look for a marriage counselor who has experience with age gap couples.
Dealing with differences in world views and experiences
There are two steps to dealing with differences in world views. The first one is to focus on your common interests. There must have been something that drew you to your spouse in the first place so focus on that.
The second step is to learn to see the value in your differences. The younger person can help the older person to get back some of their youth and the older person can use their knowledge and wisdom to help and support the younger person. It’s a win-win situation. It is also important to realize that your spouse’s world view is not wrong; it’s just different.
Planning for the future
You can’t slow down the aging process, and if there is a big age difference between you and your spouse, one of you may reach old age while the other is middle aged. For instance, one of you may retire when the other’s career is just beginning to take off. In addition, there is a high chance that the younger person will be a widow or widower later in life. It is important to discuss and plan for these things early.
Age gap marriages can be a bit challenging, especially if there is opposition and negativity coming from family and friends. However, instead of focusing on the challenges of age difference in relationships, couples should learn to focus on their common interests and then build from there.