When you are single, the world revolves around you. You are the sole decision maker in your life and all your attention is focused on achieving your goals and dreams.  At this point, marriage tips on “how to grow together as a couple” are the furthest thing from your mind.

However, when you are married, you have to take your partners thoughts, ideas and dreams into account when making decisions.  You must put as much effort in helping your partner achieve his or her goals and dreams as you do in achieving your own goals and dreams. This means creating the right environment for your partner to grow and attain his /her personal goals. In order to do this you must:

Know your spouse’s personal goals and priorities

Do you know what your spouse wants out of life?

It is important for spouses to have a deep understanding of each other’s individual priorities. The best way to gain such an understanding is to have a discussion about it. This helps you to figure out the logistics of your future.

Although this tip falls under advice for newlyweds, it is never too late to have this discussion with your spouse.

Know your place in your spouse’s goals

Do you know what role your spouse expects you to play in their goals or dreams?

Your spouse’s dreams are his/her dreams, not yours; and it should remain that way. Do not make it a habit to lend a hand or give advice regarding your spouse’s personal goals unless they ask for it. You do not want to overwhelm them with your contribution or ruin their journey to the treasured goal.

Be positive and encouraging

When your spouse shares their personal goals with you, be positive and encouraging. Reassure your spouse that they have what it takes to achieve their goals as long as they keep working towards them.

However, the above marriage tips, don’t mean that you should lie to your spouse. Offer constructive criticism where necessary but be gentle. If you criticize an aspect of your spouse’s goals, offer a possible solution. For instance, if you don’t think the way your spouse is going about it is the best way to achieve the goal, suggest other plausible ways.

Give your spouse room to grow

Sometimes, the best way support your spouse is to give them some breathing room. Let them maintain some autonomy. There should be a clear distinction between where you and your spouse start as individuals and where your relationship starts. If that line is blurred, you may both lose touch with your personal goals and dreams and begin to resent each other for it.

Just because you are married doesn’t mean that you should give up on your personal goals and dreams. By following these marriage tips, you can have a happy marriage while still continuing to grow as individuals.