Most spouses have differing opinions in a wide variety of areas such as parenting, in-laws and finances. In fact, differences of opinion are a normal part of communication in relationships. However, how a couple chooses to deal with these differences can make or break their marriage.

As a husband or wife, it is extremely important for you to acknowledge, validate and respect your spouse’s point of view. It is your duty to ensure that your spouse walks away from your conversations feeling “heard” and validated.  By simply fulfilling this duty, you can avoid a lot of marital problems.

Validating your spouse’s point of view can be difficult, especially if you don’t agree with it. Here are a couple of tricks to help you be more open each other’s point of view.

1. Approach your differences with curiosity

Have you ever wondered why people are attracted to their opposites? They are fascinated by their differences and curious to explore each other’s “worlds.”  They see their differences as opportunities for personal growth and a rich life experience.

If you have trouble acknowledging your spouse’s point of view, you should try approaching it with fascination and curiosity instead of defensiveness.

2. Look through your spouse’s lens as well

Most of us have a single lens through which we view everything. This lens, which is shaped by our life experiences, sees a lot but it also misses a lot.

The fun part of being married is that you get to see things through another lens – your spouse’s lens. Their lens, like your’s, is shaped by their life experiences and is as valid as yours. Communication in relationships is a lot easier when you understand how your spouse’s life experiences have shaped their point of view.

3. Read up on your spouse’s perspective

Sometimes, it is not enough to ask your spouse questions about their point of view.  You may want deeper information that he or she cannot provide. For instance, if you and your spouse have differing opinions regarding parenting styles, you should read up on the parenting style that your spouse is advocating. Sometimes, it helps to see your spouse’s perspective in another person’s words.

As human beings, we tend to reject perspectives that are different from our own. We are quick to present evidence to prove that we are right. Often, it does not occur to us that both opinions can be right but different.  However, in order to have a healthy relationship and be better at communication in relationships, we must learn to consider multiple points of view.