Marriage problems can strike at any time. I’ve seen marriages last less than a year and others fail after thirty years. There is no such thing as a trouble-free marriage. But if any of the following 6 red flags are present in your relationship, then you should seek marriage help immediately.

1. Silence

If it seems that time with your spouse is filled with awkward silence, and you find yourselves staring at your food while eating, then you need marriage help.

This situation will not improve on its own; it will only get worse. Acknowledge that a problem exists and discuss with your spouse some ways of dealing with it. I strongly urge you to seek marriage counseling.

2. Harshness

Are the words in your home friendly or mean? Kind or harsh? Is there frequent shouting?

When people are deeply frustrated or feel unheard, they raise their voices and shout.

If the communication in your home is mean and unfriendly, you need marriage help. Again, I urge you to seek marriage counseling because a marriage counselor will help you and your spouse to start communicating effectively again.

3. Disengagement

Imagine a family is driving along in their car. The kids start fighting in the backseat and it gets real bad. One parent addresses the situation to stop the fighting but the other sits silently in their seat disengaged from the conflict like they usually do.

Is this healthy? Not at all. It is a red flag that you need marriage help.

Usually when one parent engages conflict and the other disengages it is a sign of an underlying disagreement between parenting styles.

If this situation is not addressed, it will stress the relationship and cause marital conflict between you and your spouse.

A healthy way to deal with this situation is to take action by discussing with your spouse the reasons why your approach is different. It is unlikely that you will ever adopt exact parenting styles, but it is vital that you work together.

4. Going In Opposite Directions

Are you and your spouse working together toward common goals or going in opposite directions?

Going in opposite directions is a red flag that you need marriage help.

The earlier you address this situation the better things will be. The first step is to make time when you and your spouse can discuss this trend, identify some possible reasons for why it is happening, and then decide on ways you can turn things around.

5. Suspecting An Affair

Do you wonder in the back of your mind if your husband or wife is having an affair? Do you secretly check their email, texts, voice mail, credit card charges, etc., for evidence of an affair?

Obviously, if you are suspicious of adultery then it is a red flag that your marriage needs help. A marriage cannot survive a loss of trust. I urge you to seek help.

There is a good chance that your spouse is being faithful. But something is driving your suspicion. Seek marriage counseling immediately before matters get worse and trigger an actual affair.

6. Uncomfortable Intimacy

What is the quality of the intimacy in your marriage? Keep in mind that sex and intimacy are two different things.

Are you comfortable sharing personally with your spouse? Sharing your  deepest feelings, dreams, hopes and thoughts? If not, consider it a red flag that you need marriage help.

When the majority of your conversations revolve around work, parenting responsibilities, and other household business, this is a red flag that you need marriage help. Get the help you need so you can become husband and wife again and not just business partners who happen to be roommates.

7. Bedroom Trouble

Are you and your spouse sexually intimate? A lack of sexual intimacy is a red flag that you need marriage help.

When communication is lacking in your marriage, talking about sex can be very, very uncomfortable. A sexless marriage is an unhealthy marriage. So if sexual problems exist within your marriage, please find a marriage counselor immediately so you and your spouse can begin enjoying this special, and sacred, bond again.

Everyone who has been married for any length of time knows that a marriage has its peaks and lows. Every marriage has trouble. In fact, there is no such thing as a trouble-free marriage; that is not your goal.

Just be aware of the red flags that we’ve talked about today. And if you see any of them arise in your relationship, don’t panic – just know that it is time to get marriage help. Getting the help that you need is the first step in being mad about marriage again.