There was a time when you and your spouse were so deeply in love that nothing could pull you apart. Remember?

But “they” tell us that the day comes when the flames die and passion fades. Here’s some relationship advice: I say that we deserve better. It is up to us to set our marital expectation and not anyone else.

So here are a six ways to “re-spark” your marriage:

1) Do What You Did

Do what you did in the beginning of your relationship that fanned the flame and deepened your love.

Decide today to break free from the routine and mundane.

Mix things up.

Plan a special night each week where you do some of the fun things that you did when you first got together. Focus on each other. Have fun!

2) Start Talking!

Few things are as dreary or boring as a relationship void of communication. So start talking! Communication ignites a spark.

If you and your spouse aren’t spending enough time together then raise the issue and say something. Share what’s on your heart.

3) Be Playfully Romantic

When did you stop flirting (with your spouse)?

Each of you knows how to turn the other one on mentally, emotionally and physically. So text. Email. Flirt. Tease. Give compliments out of the blue. Share how great it feels to be with them.

4) Grow Together

Try new things. Take a trip. Take up a new hobby. Learn together. Give yourself something else to focus on besides your current conflicts while giving yourselves something new to talk about.

5) Nighttime Sharing

Try this: Have the same bedtime, if possible. Shut everything off and block out the world. This is your time. Talk. Hold each other. Enjoy each others’ physical company if the moment strikes.

But most of all just spend a few minutes sharing about what happened that day; share your concerns, desires, dreams, hopes – get to know each other again.

6) Mmmmmm.

Touch. And  touch often.

Enjoy mutually satisfying touch for this triggers oxytocin. This “hormone of love” increases feelings of trust and safety while decreasing feelings of worry and stress . Oxytocin plays a key role in sexual arousal, too.

Bonus: Giggle & Laugh

Make it your standard to infuse your marriage with humor, playfulness, and hope; decide to always focus on the silver lining during times of disappointment and stress.

But most of all, just play. Play often. Make play a priority because it is vital to feeling truly connected to others; it fills life with joy, fun, and happiness.

Many couples lose their sense of playfulness along the way at the expense of sacrificing their curiosity and creativity. And in the end this weakens their sense of trust. Playfulness is a must because it creates a sense of caring.

If your marriage has lost its spark, then ask which of the above six things are missing? And then all you need to do is to start doing them again!

So get started today, and soon you will be mad about marriage again.