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How To Begin Forgiving A Cheating Spouse

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How To Begin Forgiving A Cheating Spouse

On September 14, 2012, Posted by , In Adultery,All Posts,Save Marriage, With No Comments

Has your spouse been unfaithful?

If so, then it is natural to be overwhelmed by feelings of anger, betrayal, and grief.

Adultery scars marriages.

Infidelity damages trust.

Cheating destroys relationships.

Nothing hurts quite as much as learning that your spouse is emotionally attached to someone else.

Recovering from adultery and emotional infidelity is difficult and painful.

And although many wounded spouses might not want to hear what I’m about to say, I have to say it anyway because it is the truth: Forgiveness is the pathway to healing.

If you are still reading this post, then it shows me that you are open to the idea of forgiveness. If so, then be assured that the battle is already half won because you are ready to take this major step in the healing process.

But before we go any further, let me ask, has the cheating spouse asked for your forgiveness?

If so, then it means that he or she wants to save the relationship.

(I realize, as do you, that he or she will need to find a way to earn your trust again.)

But if your spouse hasn’t asked for your forgiveness, then ask if they desire to heal and save the marriage. They might be reluctant to reveal their desire if they’re uncertain as to where you stand on the matter. So share that you are willing to heal your relationship if they are.

The process of forgiving a cheating spouse is no different than extending forgiveness to other people who’ve hurt you.

But if you’re the kind of person who holds grudges, then you may find the process of forgiving people to be a bit of a challenge.

If this is the case, then start practicing being a person of forgiveness. Practice letting go. When someone upsets you during the day, practice forgiveness. If they hurt you, practice forgiveness. You can embrace the pain and be miserable, or you can let it go and be free.

Practice forgiveness. You deserve it.

Forgiving a cheating spouse involves being aware of your feelings.

For example, many people find it hard to forgive when they are unhappy and deeply upset.

Being aware of these emotional states and giving some time for the intensity to subside can be helpful.

Please understand that I’m not in anyway trying to justify emotional or physical adultery, nor am I am attempting to trivialize the issue of forgiving a cheating spouse.

I realize that forgiving an unfaithful spouse is a gradual process.  You can’t just forgive them and then expect everything to be okay immediately.

And situations will arise in your marriage that trigger memories of this particular offense and how much it hurt you. But with time, it is will get better.

Though the situation may seem terrible at the moment, there could be a greater purpose to what happened. There are many people whose marriages have gotten stronger after working together with their spouse through the process of healing and forgiveness.

Use this as a learning experience. Ask your cheating spouse what he or she thinks is lacking in your marriage, and then work together to make your marriage stronger and more fulfilling for each other. Pledge to meet each other’s needs.

If you find yourself imagining your partner with another person, make a conscious effort to put those thoughts out of your mind.  Focus on forgiveness, saving the marriage, and moving on.

If you follow the above tips, you will be surprised how much easier it will be for you to forgive a spouse who has been unfaithful, and how strong your relationship can become.

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