All affairs are not created equal. They are different from one another.

For instance, there is the adulterous affair that is initiated by revenge whereas another is caused by rage.

When a spouse seeks an extramarital affair because he or she wants to get even, then this is, obviously, a revenge affair. And it’s one of the Big reasons why spouses cheat.

Here are 15 behaviors that a spouse who begins and continues a revenge affair might exhibit:

1.    They seem unpredictable and thoughtless.

2.    They have become impatient and indecisive.

3.    They get irritated over the smallest things that don’t go their way.

4.    Sometimes they voice their resentment or anger without reason or cause.

5.   They have started flirting.

6.   They are hard-headed and often authoritative.

7.    They start taking the opposite side in arguments for no good reason.

8.    They manifest impulsive and usually tense behavior.

9.    They have a negative and jaded outlook on life.

10.    They start complaining about everything.

11.     They have become uncharacteristically gloomy or depressed.

12.     They have become bossy, manipulative and demanding.

13.     They are inconsiderate of their spouse’s feelings.

14.    If you look at their childhood, there is a history of sibling rivalry or rejection or neglect from their parents.

15.    They push people away even if intimacy is really what they seek.

Remember, just because you believe your spouse is exhibiting some of these signs it DOES NOT mean that he or she is having an affair.

Please read and re-read that last sentence until it sinks in.

The other thing to remember is that an affair is the result of a deeper relational issue.

Satisfied, happy spouses don’t go around looking for an affair. So if you see these warning signs, then take immediate action by initiating a conversation about the status and health of your marriage.

Although this is a serious situation, relax and approach the matter calmly.

Healing takes time. So does developing a spirit of patience and understanding.

The important thing is for you to reaffirm how much you mean to each other. Make a commitment to face whatever is happening and to do whatever it takes to restore the relationship and heal the marriage. This will work wonders. Grace and forgiveness will, too.

Infidelity and cheating spouses create situations that are extremely difficult to deal with and handle. But love is a decision — it’s a choice.

Your marriage is good enough to save EVEN if an affair has happened.

So as you and your spouse choose to do whatever it takes  no matter how hard it might be to save your marriage, know this – healing will come.

Love will be restored.

And as this happens, you will survive an affair (or avoid one altogether), and have a happy, satisfying marriage once again.