Marriage: Unhealthy Compromise
It’s commonly believed that compromise keeps a marriage strong and healthy. But can there be too much compromise in a marriage? Absolutely. When?
When one spouse feels like he or she is doing MOST of the compromising!
Or when there is so much compromising between the spouses that the marriage starts feeling more like a business deal than a loving relationship.
Too much compromise can lead to bitterness, resentment, indifference or anger.
Now there are times when you need to give-in and compromise. And it isn’t an admission that you’ve lost an argument or a battle. It simply means that you want to work things out.
So choose your battles wisely.
And make a commitment to put your spouse’s happiness first. This transforms your relationship and creates an outstanding marriage; it earns your spouse’s trust and respect in return. Romance flourishes in this environment.
The other thing that helps to lessen marital conflict and the need for compromise is to be intentional about finding ways to be romantic — don’t just wait for the obvious days like Valentines, anniversaries or birthdays; do something special when it isn’t expected.
Marriage counselors often tell clients who are dealing with chronic conflict and living in a state of compromise, to become more intentional about being caring.
It can be as simple as helping with chores, childcare, washing the dishes, picking up the house, getting the groceries, making dinner for the family, bringing home goodies for snacks, fueling the car, or simply watching your spouse’s favorite television show together.
Another great way to lessen conflict and increase romance is to really LISTEN and TALK to each other.
Listen to your spouses’ concerns, successes, and feelings.
Listen to their dreams, hopes, and ideas.
This shows your commitment and support. Your spouse will greatly appreciate you for it.
Communicating, helping out and showing that you care, are small gestures that help resolve conflict and create appropriate amounts of compromise, which in turn creates a loving marital environment.