You have so much power.

Consider how happy you are, how stressed you feel, and how well you sleep. But how often do we think those things are out of our control because we feel we’re at the mercy of our circumstances.

In moments of stress and overwhelm, we can choose to be grateful for our blessings. When we do, we experience peace and happiness.

Or we can choose to focus on what’s missing and isn’t working out. We can focus on everything that’s wrong or can go wrong, which fills us with worry and anxiety and makes us feel gloomy and miserable.

We sulk and descend into panic and self-pity.

We blame people and circumstances for our unhappiness. And we play the “if-only…” game.

It’s a hard pill to swallow, especially if a bad marriage is the source of our unhappiness, but the choices we make (or don’t make) have much to do with how miserable or happy we will be.

One of the simplest ways to be happy and satisfied with life is to count your blessings instead of your burdens.

But that’s easier said than done.

Imagine someone stands you up for lunch, perhaps your spouse., how do you respond?

Do you become angry and upset, letting it ruin your day?

Or do you think something must’ve come up, and you move on happily with your day? Do you let their behavior choose your mood, or do you? Even if they didn’t have a good reason for standing you up, you still have the power to choose your emotions and mood.

Some people will feel rejected and choose to dwell on the “offense.” And the more they think about it, the angrier they get, and they let it ruin their day. They might even punish them emotionally and make them pay the next time they see them.

It’s all about choice.

Another person might feel disappointed and a little miffed. But they take a deep breath, reset emotionally, and find the power to let those negative feelings go because they have a gratitude orientation.

What could they possibly find in that situation for which to be grateful?

It could provide some much-needed alone time, time to drop into the bookstore, or the chance to see a movie they’ve been wanting to see. Maybe there’s an old friend they’ve been meaning to visit. Or maybe they simply enjoy a delicious meal by themselves while enjoying some good people-watching.

Instead of heading home angry, they’re going home thankful for a couple of hours they could carve out for themselves. And who knows, when they finally catch up with their spouse or friend, they will learn there was an emergency at work that required immediate attention. Maybe not. Either way, they control their emotions they don’t let their emotions control them.

You can always focus on what’s wrong with your life, spouse, work, or marriage. But you can also focus on what’s going right and what’s good about those things.

Focusing on gratitude and making the best of a situation creates peace and happiness for yourself. Gratitude is like a superpower that helps you unlock your best life and a much happier marriage.