Despite the promises of technology making life easier and freeing up heaps of free time to do whatever we want instead of grinding away at work, that’s never happened, and I’m not sure it ever will.

Is it me, or is life getting faster and more overwhelming, stressful, and chaotic? And technology is driving it!  

You have more to do at work now than ever before, and you have an ever-expanding social circle of friends to keep up with, not to mention your daily responsibilities, family, and marriage. 

Where does self-care fit into that hamster wheel of insanity? Everyone gets a piece of your attention until your energy runs out, and there’s nothing left for you. It’s easy to become bitter, resentful, moody, irritable and short-fused when that happens. And guess how it affects your marriage?

Your husband, family, and friends need you just as much as you need them. But how can you show up for them when you’re not showing up for yourself?

Life isn’t getting any easier. So it’s up to you to find moments of peace and restoration in the chaos. I’m tempted to use the term “find balance,” but I think those days are behind us because of how complicated life has become.

Here are some tips to help you find moments of “balance” so you can be fully present in one of your most important relationships and highest priorities: your marriage. 

Priorities and Boundaries  

The first thing you need to do to create moments of balance is to set boundaries based on your priorities. 

What are your top three priorities? Evaluate them to decide if they should be at the top of the list. If so, keep them. If not, replace them because faulty priorities create faulty boundaries. 

How do you decide what are your most important priorities? You identify and choose your values and determine what matters most in your personal and professional life. 

Next, set boundaries that protect your time, energy, values, and schedule. Be ready to communicate your boundaries clearly and be kind but firm when saying no. 

Remember to set boundaries around technology, too. For example, do you reply to emails even when you are away from work or reply to every message immediately? Think about your relationship with the internet and social media. Maybe you will set specific times to surf the internet and use social media so you don’t get carried away with scrolling.

Time Management and Organization

Organization and time management work go hand in hand. Organizing your personal and professional workspace saves time and fosters balance. Scheduling your day organizes your energy, priorities, and time. Use a calendar to stay focused on your projects and tasks throughout the day.

Organize your tasks into chunks and put them on the calendar or notepad. Why? Because it helps to eliminate multitasking, reduces stress, improves productivity, budgets adequate time to get things done instead of rushing around with your hair on fire, and it eliminates not following through.

Get Help by Delegating

Relinquish control where possible and delegate at work and home. Assign appropriate tasks and responsibilities to family, colleagues, freelancers, or experts. Share the load for more time and freedom; learn to let go. 

Give Yourself A Break 

You need mental, emotional, and spiritual rest. Self-care involves giving yourself a break, whether a few minutes in the morning and afternoon, a day off, attending church, or going on vacation; you need rest. 

Sit down with your calendar and to-do list for the day and schedule a ten-minute break for a brief walk, to pray and meditate, get up and stretch and drink, or do a few minutes of deep breathing to calm your mind and relax your nerves. Taking breaks has been proven to improve productivity and performance. 

Say No 

What good are boundaries if you can’t say no?

Give yourself permission to say no to things that don’t support your life and priorities or make you feel guilty because they don’t feel right. You have standards; pushing yourself beyond them to please others isn’t right or fair to you. Learn to say no. Feeling good about it comes with practice. So start practicing. Whether it’s coffee with a friend on your busiest day of the calendar month or picking up an extra project at work when things are hectic at home. Of course, there are times when you can say yes to additional things, but if now isn’t the right time or best time, say no. 

Lean On Your Support

Lean on your support system when dealing with life’s obstacles and challenges. Stop being a lone ranger. Remember that you are surrounded by people who respect you, understand your goals, build you up, and want to see you succeed! They should be willing to go the extra mile and be happy to pick up the slack occasionally when necessary. If they’re not, reconsider how much access they should have to your life. 

Final Thoughts 

It takes effort, but you can juggle work, life, and self-care. Will they be perfectly balanced? Nope. Not at all. But by setting priorities and establishing boundaries, things will fall into place, and your life and marriage will improve dramatically.