Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

It’s tough on your marriage when you feel like you’re going through the motions. You get up, go to work, go to bed, and do it all over again tomorrow. 

Unhappiness with life can spill into your marriage even if you and your spouse have a pretty good relationship!

Ever wonder what you’re doing with your life or feel you should be farther along by now? You’re super busy but not getting anywhere, which can be so frustrating!

Instead of living life to the fullest, you’re going through the motions; you feel like you’re surviving rather than thriving. And you just wish you could get that spark back. 

These feelings of discontent knock you off your “A game.” Your spouse probably notices when a part of you has shut down, or something is wrong. 

They might even wonder if it has something to do with them or if you’re unhappy or becoming disinterested in the marriage. 

The darker side of this situation is that you open yourself to certain temptations because you feel unsettled, discontented, or want more excitement in life – you want to feel alive! So, in a moment of weakness, you might do something regrettable. 

So, before you do something drastic or spend thousands on an exotic international trip to find yourself, here are some great tips to start figuring out what YOU want from life.

Get Curious About Your Passions

What are you passionate about? 

What could you eliminate to make more time and space for activities and experiences that light you up?

What motivates and inspires you?

Imagine it’s six months from now; what would your life look like if you were actually living the life you wanted? 

What would your day look like?

What would your marriage look like?

Would you have a different job?

Knowing what you want and don’t want isn’t being selfish.

It’s your life. And you deserve to be passionate about living it.

Face Your Fears

Do you avoid pursuing your passions because you’re afraid?

Fear keeps people stuck and unhappy.

It’s easy to blame others for our problems when the real culprit is us and our fears.

Fear is powerful; it’s a bully that looms larger than life; it’s a giant that stands in the way of you going after what you want. 

Most everyone who is truly happy and successful in life and marriage has figured out how to conquer their giants. 

Face your giants. One of the biggest giants you’ll face is the one looking back at you in the mirror – the one filled with self-doubt, insecurity, and worry. 

Evaluate Your Current Wants & Goals

What goals are you working on? 

Do you know what you want from life?

Chances are, if you aren’t sure what you want from life, you probably don’t have many goals because you don’t have much you’re working towards. 

Goals motivate us; taking charge of our lives and working on a dream is empowering! And, if it’s a worthy goal, it creates a fulfilling experience. 

Having goals adds purpose to our lives. 

Progressing through your goals generates momentum and fuels motivation. Start with small, specific goals at first that are easy to achieve. 

It’s Okay To Start Messy

Face it: life can be a real mess. But so what? If you wait until you figure everything out and ALL your obstacles are out of the way, you’ll never start! 

Start where you are with what you have, even if it’s messy. 

It’s natural to have questions and doubts. But get started anyway.

In fact, starting and getting into the flow of things creates better opportunities and insights you would’ve missed had you waited for the “perfect” time to start. 

Feeling like you don’t know what you’re doing, where you’re going, or should’ve been farther along by now creates frustration and unhappiness, which can affect your marriage even though your marriage might not have anything to do with the “problem.”

Use these tips to start figuring out what you want from life; it’s your life, and you deserve to live the kind of life that makes you feel happy and fulfilled and brings you peace. Take some time this week to figure out what you want so you can start unlocking your best life and marriage.