Become More Decisive For A Happier Marriage: Nine Causes of Indecisiveness
Indecisiveness strains a marriage, especially when one partner is decisive. The decisive partner feels stuck in the quicksand of their spouse’s indecisiveness, which results in stress, frustration, and conflict.
Indecisiveness can be caused by fear of failure or the unknown, laziness, or reluctance to be responsible or take responsibility. It might also be caused by perfectionistic tendencies or delaying making a decision because you’re waiting for a better option to come along.
Let’s explore common reasons why people are indecisive so you can eliminate them to become a more decisive person and spouse.
Over-Thinking & Decision Delay
Giving yourself all the time in the world to make a decision breeds overthinking and indecisiveness; some people don’t even make a choice because they mistakenly think they have unlimited time to decide, which can lead to choices being made for you by default. This puts someone else in charge of your life, standard of living, and happiness. It’s almost always best to make a choice and adjust it if you have to than not make a choice.
To become more decisive, decide how much time you need to research your choice and set a deadline for making your final decision.
Today, options abound for almost every choice we need to make. Reviewing every possibility burns through time and energy. Consider what you need to achieve and what you think you’ll need to get it done. Identify 3-5 options and choose one to finalize your decision, allowing yourself to change if something better comes along. The priority is to make a decision and get moving.
Listening to Others
If you need expert advice, get it. Or ask two or three people for their opinion if you feel you must. But for a personal decision that affects only you, listen to yourself, follow your heart, and get moving; learn to trust your instincts.
Don’t Let Guilt Stop You
It isn’t uncommon for people to resist you when you start taking charge of your life. People can become jealous, envious, or even feel judged when you begin reaching your personal goals and improving your life; some people will push back against you; some of them will be family and your closest friends. It can make you feel guilty, which makes you indecisive. But don’t let guilt dim your glow just to make people happy or feel comfortable around you. Decide to make choices that unlock your best life.
Give Yourself Credit & Trust Your Instincts
You know so much more than you realize or give yourself credit for. Spend some time alone in quiet reflection to consider your thoughts and feel and hear what’s happening inside you. Tap into the knowledge you already have; pray and connect with God. What promptings do you sense?
Perfection is a myth; it doesn’t exist. Perfectionism paralyzes. Perfection-seeking leads to inaction. Decide what you need to do to get started, then improve along the way.
Lack of Self-Confidence
A lack of confidence can come from a lack of education or experience. In that situation, get educated on the topic; find a book, seminar, or video online. But also know that you can decide to become a confident person. Believe in yourself. You’re not perfect; no one is, but you are capable! You can do much more than you realize. And you know what? You’ll do better than you ever imagined. Being decisive and making decisions creates confidence.
Fear Of Making the Wrong Choice
Imperfect people make mistakes and wrong choices. But making the wrong choice is almost always better than not making a choice. Keep three things in mind:
- Usually, a wrong choice isn’t the end of the world.
- It likely won’t matter to anyone 50 years from now.
- Sometimes, it’s the wrong choice that leads to the best choice.
If you’re not changing the space-time continuum, don’t worry too much about it. But if it pertains to something serious and affects many people, seek expert advice.
You Lose Sight of Your Vision Or Primary Goal
Each choice you make keeps you where you are, takes you backward, or propels you toward your goals, fulfilling your vision for your life. If you don’t have a vision for yourself and are uncertain about what you want from life, it’s hard to match current choices with the right actions. Getting clear on your goals makes decision-making easier and much more effective.
At the end of the day, you have to decide what kind of life and marriage you desire. Next, consider your goals and whether this decision supports or blocks those goals. Consider also what effect not making a choice will have.
Unlocking your best life and marriage doesn’t happen magically. So, take charge of your life by becoming more decisive today. What’s one decision you’ve been putting off? Why not set a deadline for making it? Don’t delay living your life another day. Choose to cherish each moment. Create the life you want. All you have to do is to decide to get started.