Photo by Natasha Brazil on Unsplash

Living with your guard up is easy when you’ve been hurt or taken advantage of. And it gets even easier as we age because of everything we see, making us even more selective in the friends we choose and the people we hang around.

It’s one thing to be cautious and wise but another to be too guarded, refusing to let anyone get too close because we’re afraid of being hurt again.

But should we allow past painful experiences to push people away and shut them out?

What if you’re open to healthy love and welcome the idea of unlocking your best marriage or finding someone to spend the rest of your life with, then what?

Unless we’re careful, fear and pain will rule our lives, keeping us from enjoying some of life’s most amazing relationships!

So, is there some way to know if you’re too guarded?

If you’re too guarded, you tend to overthink normal situations or assume something is wrong with people and avoid relationships before giving them a chance to prove themselves.

Being too guarded damages your relationships. So here are some warning signs to know if you’re pushing people away:

You stifle your emotions: You push them down so deep within you that they never see the light of day because you will not let what happened before happen again!

Does it work? Sure. For a while. But they will find their way out sooner or later, or your life will morph into a cold, barren, lonely wasteland. But hey, at least you’ll be safe.

You struggle with intimacy: When someone is intimate with you, emotionally or physically, you play it off as a joke to protect yourself, but it hurts the other person.

You might notice that feelings make you feel too vulnerable; this can include all types of emotions. Talking about them, and especially displaying them, makes you feel uncomfortable.

You are overly critical and cool: Being critical and not talking about how you feel keeps people at arm’s length, which might be intentional. People will pick up on your attitude, keep their distance, and think twice about committing to you.

You’re intense and try too hard: People who keep their guard up can be too much because they try to be something or someone they’re not. They don’t let their true selves show because they’re uncomfortable with being known. So they overdo it. But most people can see right through the act. Be true to yourself, and don’t try to be something you’re not.

You shy away from commitment: Commitment can be scary to someone who lives with their guard up; they might even see it as a bad thing, even though most people might see it as a good thing. Guarded, distrusting people tend to shun commitment. They might feel their partner is being pushy when asking for a commitment. We should be wise when making commitments because some would be toxic and unhealthy. But the fear of commitment can lead to conflict that might ruin something wonderful.

Evaluate your life to see if you might be a bit too guarded. It’s normal to be cautious if you’ve been hurt. But these warning signs are red flags that you’re probably pushing people away.

But if you want to unlock your best life that flourishes with love and bliss, it’s time to tear down the walls and open your heart to new and wonderful possibilities again.