Photo by Bart LaRue on Unsplash

One of the best ways to improve your marriage is to improve yourself. Instead, most spouses try to change their partner’s behavior before changing their own.

Be honest, you have a bad habit, don’t you? 

Maybe more than one. 

We all do. 

Maybe you slipped into these bad habits somewhere along the way, perhaps even as coping mechanisms to marital stress, and although you’d like to change them, you can’t seem to shake them.

Bad habits don’t even have to be the really “bad” kind to take a toll on your life and marriage. 

Some common bad habits include a lack of exercise, an unhealthy diet, procrastination, a poor sleep routine, working too many hours, a lack of productivity, ignoring emails and communication, and too much television or social media… do any of these sound familiar? 

Falling into these habits can sabotage your life, causing you to let yourself go and settle for a mediocre life and marriage. Who wants that? No one, if they’re honest with themselves.

You need to love yourself, or at least care enough about your life, to change those bad habits. 

And you don’t have to wait for a New Year, either, or a new month, next week, or tomorrow to make a change!

It’s never too late or too early to take action on creating the life and marriage of your dreams.

Changing Your Bad Habits

The best way to change bad habits is to replace them with good ones.

Make a list of habits you wish to change. Next, create a list of habits you can replace them with. 

Maybe you like to snack at night and reach for chips or cookies to satisfy your cravings. Why not reach for a protein bar instead, or keep some other healthy snacks within reach?

You don’t have to be perfect, the occasional cookie isn’t going to kill you, but with consistent action, you can replace your bad habits with good ones. 

Focus on the good habit you’re using to replace the bad one instead of obsessing over your bad habits. 

Commit to yourself that you will make this change for your own good and the betterment of your life, not for anyone else but yourself, because you’re worth it!

The best way to break bad habits is to replace them. Trying to break bad habits without replacing them with healthy ones is a recipe for frustration and failure. 

But this is a new day!

And you have a new opportunity to make your life better.

To increase your odds of success and stay motivated, focus on replacing one bad habit at a time. 

It’s hard to succeed if you’re spreading your energy and focus too thin by trying to stop drinking and smoking and quitting sugar, all at the same time!

By the way, if you consume alcohol, eliminating this bad habit is a great place to start first. Why? Because smokers tend to smoke more when they drink. Plus, drinking leads to hunger, that people tend to satisfy with unhealthy food. So, by tackling your alcohol intake first, you affect two other habits. After you’ve eliminated drinking and moved on to smoking and eating, replacing them with healthier habits will be much easier. 

Love Yourself

People with low self-worth and self-respect struggle with bad habits. 

They tend to choose unhealthy habits because they don’t feel their lives really matter. And when you feel your life doesn’t matter, you tend to live that way. 

Shame and sadness ultimately drive people into self-destructive behaviors, also known as bad habits. They sabotage their happiness, and self-sabotage becomes such a bad habit that they keep adding new bad habits to their toolbox.

Learn to love yourself enough to recognize that you are bigger than your bad habits and are worthy of more. 

Even if you’re unhappy with your marriage right now, or think your spouse doesn’t like you, don’t let yourself go or give up! Your life matters! Start taking better care of your life and happiness. 

You get to define who you are and what you become! 

You have the final say over what you will become as a person. 

Even if you’re in a toxic relationship (especially in a toxic one) and your spouse looks down on you or belittles you every day, do not give them your power! 

Your destiny is in YOUR hands.

Start Here

If the whole idea of loving yourself feels foreign and you don’t know where to start on your journey of loving yourself, start by listing your gifts and positive traits. 

What do you really love about yourself? 

Be honest. 

And what are some positive things others have said about you?

Whenever a negative thought comes into your head, thank it for its “contribution,” but then say goodbye and push it away!

This is about your life, your positives. And you need to learn to acknowledge and embrace just how amazing you are. 

You are valuable.

You are loved.

And you deserve happiness and success. 

Once you start to believe the truth about who you really are, you will see that your bad habits have no place in your life.