Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash

One of the top resolutions for couples in a rocky relationship is to have a better marriage in the coming year. We’re already several months into the new year; how is your marriage?

Is it the same as last year? Or is it getting stronger or weaker?

What kind of relationship do you long for? More importantly, what kind of marriage are you willing to have the courage to work for?

Why not resolve right now that your marriage will be better, stronger, healthier, and happier by this time next month? Imagine the wonderful benefits you will enjoy by making your resolution come true.

Start by bringing a better version of yourself to the relationship. And then help your spouse do the same.  

“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.” (Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience.)

Your Relationship Resolution

Resolve to work on yourself in the next thirty days and work on your relationship with your spouse.

Just give it a month. Take it one day at a time. But resolve to make progress daily. And don’t give up on yourself or your marriage, even if it seems slow and insignificant at first.

A Healthier & Happier Relationship Can Be Yours

One of the pillars of a healthy relationship is respecting your spouse to the core while remaining true to who you are. 

What are some things you respect about your spouse? And what are some things about them that are hard for you to respect? Can you focus on some of their other good traits to amplify your respect?

And can you change any areas of your life or behavior to gain more of their respect?

Respecting each other to the core results in a healthier, happier marriage. It requires patience, compromise, and a positive attitude about your marriage, but it’s worth the effort and vulnerability to achieve it! 

Respect paves the way for you and your spouse to connect on a deeper level and promotes feelings of security and trust. 

Over the next thirty days, what things can you do or stop doing to earn more of your partner’s trust and respect? 

Reestablish Lost Feelings and Connections 

It’s common for a couple to drift into complacency as the years pass – to feel less connected and satisfied.

They become too accustomed to the presence of one another. They take each other for granted. And they assume that the other one will always be there, no matter how they’re treated; the relationship becomes less courteous and a little harsher with time.

Resolve to turn things around by reclaiming what you’ve lost or is slipping away. 

Breathe warmth into your marriage with your words and deeds. Be more courteous; be kinder and more appreciative. When tempted to say something unkind in a tone that is unsupportive or cold, bite your tongue. 

Resolve to take your marriage to a higher level by holding yourself to a higher standard in how you treat your spouse and behave within the marriage. 

Resolve to become a better version of yourself and bring a better version into the marriage; this is within your control.

What if your spouse doesn’t reciprocate? What if the marriage doesn’t improve? Then work on it. But don’t mirror their behavior because things always get worse, not better, when that happens. 

But you’ll be surprised how your actions start rekindling the fire and bring back the old flames that have died down over the years. 

But don’t hesitate to seek marriage counseling to work through significant issues you and your spouse need help resolving. 

Be Better For Each Other & Yourselves

Your resolution to have a better marriage in the next thirty days isn’t just for saving your relationship and having a happier marriage; it’s also to help each other rediscover self-worth to make you better partners for each other while being better people to those around you, too, as better versions of yourselves emerge.

If you feel like you’re losing yourself in an unhappy marriage, let this resolution be you planting your flag in the ground to say, “Enough! Today is the day everything begins to change!”

Let your thirty-day resolution help you find your way back to a healthier marriage now and a much happier one as each day unfolds. 

“The difference between an ordinary marriage and an extraordinary marriage is in giving just a little extra every day, as often as possible, for as long as we both shall live;” Fawn Weaver.