“In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine”. Maya Angelou. That’s what it feels like to be in a perfect relationship. 

There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship because it’s impossible for two imperfect people to love each other perfectly. But your marriage can be a perfect fit for you. 

Of course, there’ll be fights, tough times, hurt feelings, disappointments, and setbacks, but even so, you can have the marriage of your dreams.

A happier marriage is possible and within your reach. 

An even more special relationship with your spouse can be yours – one you can build on in the coming months and years. 

Relationship Maintenance for a Happier Marriage

A typical year for most couples has ups and downs, but there should be many more good times than bad. 

Life happens. And marriage will have its share of happy times, sad moments, victories, and conflicts through the years. 

Regardless of what you’ve been through or are going through, let today be the day you start turning your marriage around.

Let this be when you finally say goodbye and let go of regrets and painful moments from previous years. 

Muster the courage to sit with your spouse for a safe, open, and honest conversation about strengthening your relationship for a happier marriage.

Improve your relationship by focusing on the essential basics for a happy marriage: 

Forgiveness

Forgive and let go so you can move forward in unlocking the marriage of your dreams. 

Free your relationship from bitterness, resentment, and grievances. 

Don’t seek payback for your partner wronging you. And don’t shut down or be passive-aggressive to punish or manipulate them.

Embrace the soul-freeing practice of forgiving.

Forgiving isn’t necessarily forgetting; forgiving is letting go and releasing your partner from punishment and retribution.

Withholding forgiveness poisons your soul and drives a wedge between you and your spouse, creating an ever-widening chasm that eventually becomes too wide for you to find your way back to each other. 

Forgiving them isn’t condoning what they did to you. 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean everything is okay and full trust has been restored. For example, you shouldn’t be naive and turn a blind eye to marital unfaithfulness. You must deal with emotional and physical adultery; the offending spouse must be remorseful and change their ways, committing themselves wholly and exclusively to you. 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you should suck it up and tolerate any form of abuse within the marriage, either. 

Forgiveness means you’re at peace and ready to move forward. It means you’re ready to be free, whole, happy, and willing to work through the issues and work to restore your relationship. 

Forgiveness is absolutely essential for a happy, satisfying, and enduring marriage. A marriage can’t survive without forgiveness; it certainly won’t be healthy or happy if it does. 

Evaluate Your Issues & Problems

What do you think are the biggest problems and issues in your relationship? 

Lack of communication, money problems, emotional and physical disconnect, insufficient time together, parenting pressures, and in-laws are common issues that strain a marriage. But your issues might be something entirely different. 

Take time to evaluate any issues you feel are harming your marriage and discuss them with your spouse. 

Listen and try to understand each other’s perspective; be gracious, warm, and kind. You’re on each other’s side, so be supportive of your common goal to heal and strengthen your relationship. 

Whatever you do, please don’t stick your head in the sand and avoid the issues because things never get better on their own.

Strengthen Your Relationship’s Strengths

Just as you should evaluate any issues facing your marriage, you should also assess its strengths.  

What are some of the good things about your marriage that you can build on and make stronger? Try to list more positives than negatives about your relationship. 

It’s easy to fall into the trap of making things worse than they are in the marriage; focus on the positive.

Discuss your relationship’s positive qualities with your spouse; acknowledge what you’re getting right. And talk about ways to make the good things even better, and vow never to take the good aspects of your marriage for granted. 

Discuss Romance, Intimacy, Affection, and Sex

Just to be clear, romance encompasses your sex life. Sex is fundamental to a healthy marriage. A sexless marriage is an unhealthy marriage, barring any clinical or medical issues with the partners. 

If your marriage is sexless, please enlist the help and support of a qualified marriage counselor or therapist to help you and your spouse work through the issues that keep you from enjoying this beautiful part of your relationship because this issue will not resolve itself over time. 

A sexless marriage isn’t healthy or normal.

But there’s more to the physical side of marriage than sex. There’s also affection and emotional intimacy.  

Evaluate the condition of the romantic part of your marriage. What are some things you enjoy, and what would you like to improve?

Don’t rush through this conversation with your spouse; set time aside. Explore ways to make this part of your relationship happier and more satisfying. It might be as simple as choosing to date each other again and holding hands while together. Be lighthearted and playful, if possible. 

Hopes & Dreams for the Year Ahead

The marriage is either growing or dying, moving forward or backward. Never stop dreaming, hoping, planning, exploring, or working for a better life, at least in some small way.

Do you dream of buying a new house for your family this year or remodeling the one you have? 

Would you like to start a family, add to it, or see your grandchildren more often if you’re at that stage of life?

Would you like to get fitter and healthier and have more confidence and energy?

What about trips and adventures, or hobbies and new experiences?

How about having more romantic dates or home-cooked meals and family dinners? 

Would you like to take more sunset strolls with your spouse, volunteer for a worthy cause, or pray together more often?   

You and your spouse get to decide what kind of marriage you want and will have. The choice is yours. 

Being with each other is a privilege. You chose to spend the rest of your lives together. So, treasure each other, and nurture your relationship by investing your time, effort, and all your love into maintaining your relationship and unlocking the marriage of your dreams.