To hold your spouse in high esteem and honor them is to respect them; you value them.

Let’s get real honest for a second. Do you admire your partner? Do you appreciate their qualities and how they love you? Are you proud of them and their achievements? Do you want to brag about them to your friends and family? Are you considerate of their feelings and needs? Do you value their opinion on a wide array of subjects?

A spouse who respects their partner will answer yes to those questions. Respect is lacking if the answer is “no” to most of the questions.

If you don’t respect your spouse, you don’t value them, which means you probably don’t value your relationship. You might even catch yourself wondering or dreaming about what it’d be like to be out of the marriage and in another relationship.

Mutual respect is one of the secrets to a happy marriage. Here are some ways to show more respect to your spouse, starting with acknowledging and appreciating their contributions.

Say thank you (and mean it).

Show appreciation. Acknowledge their effort, whether big or small, special or mundane.

Taking a few moments to acknowledge your partner’s contributions raises their value. Let them know that they are worthy of your appreciation.

Ask about their day.

Be interested in their life. Talk with them about what happened during their day. Ask questions. Support them. Listen for anything you can encourage or celebrate. Acknowledging them makes them feel worthwhile to you.

Share your hopes and dreams for the future.

What do they dream about? What’s on their bucket list? What are some of their goals? What do they aspire to become?

While at it, try to find out more about their fears, worries, or challenges.

Share your hopes and dreams too.

Become an active participant in their life because it demonstrates that you respect them and enjoy doing life with them.

Don’t say it.

Never say anything bad or negative about your partner to family, friends, or work colleagues because it’s disrespectful to your spouse and makes you look bad.

Always find something good to say about them and paint them in a positive light.

Deal with your issues privately or with the help of a counselor or therapist. Airing your dirty laundry harms the marriage.

Let them know they’re on your mind!

Let them know when you’re thinking about them throughout the day.

Send a text, make a quick call, get a card on the way home, or even send flowers occasionally; leave sticky notes on the bathroom mirror or leave a love note on the pillow or in their purse or briefcase.

Expressing your love deepens feelings of respect and makes your spouse feel cherished.

If negative, be positive.

Don’t ever say something negative to your spouse without saying something positive too.

Show that you care, even when you’re disappointed or upset. Let your spouse know that, in your eyes, you see many more positive qualities than bad.

Make it a point to build them up much more than you put them down. In fact, strive never to put them down. Don’t say mean things or hurt their feelings.

Being caring and loving are signs that you like and respect them.

Ask them what they think.

Ask for their thoughts and opinions about things. Whether it’s about the family, household stuff, or current events, showing that you value their opinion is a sign of respect.

Finally, listen.

Give your spouse your full attention and listen to them when speaking. Don’t tune them out or interrupt.

Listening and seeking to understand where they’re coming from, even when you’re frustrated and upset, is a sign of respect and that you’re interested in the relationship.

Let’s end where we began: Do you admire your partner? Do you appreciate their qualities and how they love you? Are you proud of them and their achievements? Do you want to brag about them to your friends and family? Are you considerate of their feelings and needs? Do you value their opinion on a wide array of subjects?

If the answer to any of those questions is no, choose one or two things from this list this week to do with your partner to breathe respect back into your relationship and begin unlocking your best, happiest marriage.