4 Steps to Get Unstuck in Life And Marriage
Have you ever felt hopeless or stuck in life or your marriage, where life is happening around you or to you? You no longer live in the moment, and your dreams are on hold. You’re not living; you’re surviving… existing.
Few things are worse than feeling numb and sleepwalking through life. To unlock your best life and marriage, you must find a way to get unstuck emotionally so you can enjoy life and be happy again.
Many situations in life can make you feel stuck emotionally, from toxic relationships and mental health issues to feeling trapped in a job you hate. Regardless, there are things you can do to restart your life, starting with these steps:
Becoming More Self-Aware
Be honest and examine your life to see what you’re putting up and settling for that you shouldn’t be. It’s your right to decide what feelings you want more of and less of in your life. There’s nothing wrong with admitting you want more joy and less sadness.
Evaluate your life and situation to become more aware of cognitive distortions. Cognitive distortions are “…internal mental filters or biases that increase our misery, fuel our anxiety, and make us feel bad about ourselves.”
Cognitive distortions make things seem worse than they are. So, be honest with yourself so you can uncover the truth about your situation.
Try also to become more aware of any defense mechanisms you have in place to protect yourself that might be blinding you to the reality of your situation and surroundings.
Even your default patterns in relationships could be the reason you feel hopeless or stuck. Depending on the situation, you might be able to interrupt those patterns on your own or seek help and support from a qualified professional.
According to PsychCentral.com, it’s easier to blame people, situations, and circumstances than take responsibility for our choices and actions that got us into our predicament.
Spend time reflecting on your life and situation; be honest about your conduct and behavior to identify choices that could’ve contributed to your situation. Why did you do what you did in the first place? What could you have done differently? And what kind of person do you want to be from this day forward? Practice forgiveness for yourself and others, take full responsibility for your choices and move on.
Moving on might include conversations with key people because you’re setting a new standard for yourself.
Moving on might also include creating a plan that transitions you from where you are now to where you want to be in 90 days, six months, or a year.
Accepting responsibility includes forgiving your past, having a vision of what you want for your life in the future, and working diligently to make it happen.
Replace Unrealistic Expectations
As you evaluate your life now and what you want for yourself in the future, ask if you have unrealistic expectations.
Are unrealistic expectations the reason why you feel stuck or hopeless? If so, then you’re bound to get stuck again as you move forward unless you replace them.
Unrealistic expectations are a breeding ground for disappointment.
Evaluate your situation to decide if your expectations are reasonable and make sense.
Your life is precious; you only get one. You realize that you were born with an expiration date, don’t you?
If you’re not taking time to enjoy your one and only life, something needs to change.
Sometimes we don’t allow ourselves to savor and enjoy life because we don’t feel worthy or deserving because of that obnoxious little voice in our heads that says we’re a failure, we’re not good enough, or we always let people down, or disappoint them. The result is that we feel depressed and uninspired. And we think to ourselves that it’s not even worth trying.
Of course you’re not perfect, and you mess up. Listen, you deserve to live an amazing life and be happy!
So start by showing yourself some grace and compassion. You’re not the person you were yesterday; you’re learning, growing, and making more of a contribution today than ever.
Live your life!
Ask for Help
Sometimes, we all need a little help to get where we want to be.
Even though you’re a strong and powerful person, you can’t do everything alone.
So, ask for help; get support.
Rely on friends and family members for support, but please be open to seeking help from a professional, such as a therapist, who can assist you in looking deep to deal with issues that have been blocking you.
It’s normal to feel stuck sometimes and briefly wallow in self-pity and hopelessness; don’t allow yourself to stay there because it can become a way of life.
Remind yourself that your situation doesn’t have to be permanent; this will pass if you take full ownership to create a brighter tomorrow. It might involve uncomfortable conversations and choices, but the effort is worth it to improve your life and marriage,
So, roll up your sleeves and get to it! And while you’re at it, give yourself permission to enjoy life as you work to unlock your best life and marriage.