7 Reasons You Should See A Couples Counselor for A Better Relationship
This week’s article is brought to us by Isabell Lenox and Empathi.com. Enjoy!
Every couple hits a brick wall throughout the relationship. Many couples struggle to express their needs and desires, and tend to face more conflicts. One of the main reasons many couples seek couples counseling is to restore their intimacy and trust.
According to psychotherapists, most disagreements in a relationship arise due to infidelity, money issues, jealousy, parenting decisions, or lifestyle decisions.
While couples therapy is usually viewed as something couples with severe issues in their relationship or a crisis pursue, additional issues must be explored and worked on. Here are 7 reasons why you should see a couples counselor to improve your relationship and reach that level of intimacy you once had.
- Better Communication
Communication is the foundation of any relationship and comes in many forms. If one of the partners starts having trust issues, it’s time to seek professional help and discuss strategies for improving communication.
Couples therapy teaches couples how to express their feelings and improve communication positively. Avoid using blatant and accusive tones when discussing matters with your partner, instead, make them feel comfortable and safe to share their concerns so you can get to a certain point of improving things between the two of you.
Counseling helps couples to make a conscious choice of communication and not use their old methods of resolving issues that once worked for both.
2. Better Relationship Dynamic
One of the major benefits of seeking professional help is that both partners will get a better understanding of the relationship’s dynamic. You’ll understand if you fall into negative communication patterns, who has the power in the relationship and whether you like that, the common points upon you disagree, how you handle conflict, etc.
The answers to these points will help you get a better understanding of the patterns in the relationship, in good or difficult times. It will also help you create a healthier and stronger bond.
- Safe Space
Whether or not we like it when dealing with conflicts, one of the partners might feel vulnerable to open up and discuss issues. For some people, it can be scary to talk about topics they find intimidating. This is when couples therapy comes into play.
Couples counseling is a safe space for both partners. It means you have someone you can trust and someone who can listen to your problems and give honest feedback and opinion.
Getting a third party involved in the dynamics of your relationship is crucial if you want to get an impartial sounding board and see your relationship through someone else’s lens.
The third party will listen to both sides and give honest and constructive feedback that might make a huge difference. Couples therapy can help you navigate the potential adverse effects of your decisions and give you a chance to get a professional take on what’s to happen next.
- Solve Trust Issues
Couples counseling helps in restoring trust in the relationship. Trust issues can arise from anywhere, infidelity, financial struggles, lack of honesty, manipulation, abandonment, fear of betrayal, etc.
The first signs of trust issues can be caught early and involve:
- Anticipation of betrayal
- One of the partners assumes the other partner has betrayed their trust, sometimes even without rightful reasoning
- One of the partners becomes overly protective
- There is a distance between both of you
- Avoid commitment
- Making a big deal out of everything, even the tiniest problems
- Feelings of depression and loneliness
5. Learn Coping Skills in Difficult Times
Another advantage of seeking professional help for your relationship is the chance to learn coping skills and strategies that will improve the dynamics throughout challenging times. By understanding these technics and coping mechanisms, you can deal with anger, stress, sadness, pressure, or any other emotion that’s taking a toll on your relationship.
Such coping mechanisms can help you more in the following:
- Respecting your partner’s choices
- Learn negotiation skills
- Set up boundaries
- Learn how to accept the differences
- Learn how to share positive feelings like kindness
- Learn how to deal with the issues in the family
- Think objectively about what you want to achieve
- Devote time to resolving the issue on your terms
- Agree to disagree
- Acknowledge when the partner makes valid points
These coping mechanisms serve as a foundation for future roadblocks and issues.
- Discuss Feelings
Sometimes, couples go to therapy to discuss their feelings and get a better understanding of where they’re headed. And some couples even believe that therapy will work wonders and do whatever it takes to stay together and keep their relationship. Couples therapy does work wonders. It’s only through both partners’ diligent cooperation and understanding that the healing process will succeed.
And in cases where the relationship is no more salvageable, the therapist will help you explore the alternative, clarify your feelings and understand emotions like anger, disappointment, and numbness. An affair can often be the reason for evoking feelings of resentment, anger, hurt, and betrayal, so if you’re facing such issues, make sure to contact a couples therapist.
7. Work on Personal Growth
Personal growth is a natural result of couples therapy since both partners improve their self-awareness, get a deeper understanding of their and their partner’s needs, and explore areas of their lives that need improvement.
Growing personally will help you in other areas of your life, like setting firm boundaries at work, with your family, friends, etc. You’ll also learn how to deal with drama and process irrelevant things that once bothered you.
Is Couples Therapy Worth It?
Couples therapy is worth it, considering the multiple effects. According to the American Psychological Association, Emotionally-Focused Therapy is helpful and practical for relationships because almost 90% of the improvement is due to the EFT.
The APA conducted research and surveyed couples and showed incredibly improved communication results. The survey also showed that the couples who went to therapy learned how to handle conflict better and implement strategic tools for effective communication.
If you or someone you know needs professional help, make sure to reach out to a therapist, discuss your options and start a session.