Regret chains you to your past and throws a wet blanket on your future. 

If you’re tired of being a prisoner to your mistakes, could’ves, and should’ves, then let go of your regrets this Thanksgiving. It’s harder than it sounds but easier than you think.   

Here are five ways to use gratitude and thanksgiving to finally let go of your regrets and unlock your best life and marriage.  

Be Grateful For The Lesson

Try this:

1. Imagine your regret.
2. Picture it vividly in your mind.
3. Step outside of your regret by transferring that image to the palm of your hand; imagine it rotating slowly so you can view it from all angles objectively.
4. Notice the exact regretful moment and freeze the image. Now ask, “If I could do it again, what would I do differently?”

Sometimes we get so caught up in the painful feelings of regret that we lose our objectivity because we’re too close to it emotionally.

This exercise puts space between you and the event so you can analyze it rationally.

Regret is instructive; every regret contains a lesson. 

Consider your regret(s); what lesson(s) might it contain for you? 

Is your regret the result of something you avoided or settled for, failed to follow through on, didn’t correct when you had the chance, or something else? 

Once you identify the lesson, be grateful because the next time you find yourself in a similar situation, you’ll remember the lesson, and things will turn out differently. 

Be Grateful For Self-Forgiveness

Someone said that regret is an amplified mistake that we beat ourselves up for over and over again. 

But regret can be much deeper, too – it can be much more than a mistake. It can be a grievance, a missed chance that changes the course of your life forever. 

You might think that you deserve to punish yourself emotionally, or feel guilty when you feel happy or when you feel happy without feeling any guilt or remorse anymore.

But you have a choice: Forgive yourself or live with the guilt, pain, or shame forever.  

Be grateful that self-forgiveness is a choice. We’re not talking about arrogant disregard and moving on flippantly with your life. No, not at all.

We’re talking about learning the lesson, growing from it, and then letting go of the pain by forgiving yourself. 

Even if “they” don’t forgive you,” you may forgive yourself. 

Have compassion and forgive yourself. You don’t make anyone’s life better by beating yourself up. The world deserves a better you; so do you. 

Forgive yourself. 

Be Grateful You Can Right Your Wrongs (or maybe some of them)

Regret usually centers around someone we hurt or an unfortunate situation we caused or helped create. 

We feel remorseful for hurting others with our words, choices, or actions.

Instead of wishing you would’ve done things differently, why not do something about it? 

Why not try reaching out to the people you hurt and make things right, either through a heartfelt apology or something tangible?

Reconnect, show your remorse, and do something to make things right. You might be surprised by the power of a simple “I’m sorry.” 

Be Grateful You Can Talk To Someone

Regret is a downward spiral into isolation and depression. Obsessing over your past creates mental health problems, which cause physical health issues in the body. 

But you don’t have to go it alone. Find someone to talk to, preferably a counselor, therapist, or clergy member. You might even find small groups in your local area or online for support. 

You need someone to help you get out of your head so you can break free from regret and start finding a practical solution.

Maybe it’s a family member or a trusted friend; you just need someone to talk to. Let them pull you free from the quicksand of regret.

Be Grateful For Second Chances and New Opportunities

Perhaps you’ve been divorced, and you’re reading this marriage blog for help and advice so you don’t repeat the past. Try not to let your regrets weigh you down and keep you from the happiness that can be yours once more. Be grateful for second or third, or fourth chances and new opportunities!

Or maybe you regret putting your passion on the back burner and settling for a safe career because it’s stable and pays the bills. Who says it’s too late to start exploring your passion and maybe trying to make a nice little income from it?

Regret disempowers you; it dismantles any hope of having a bright, happy future. 

To live in regret is not to live at all.

But you can use gratitude to create positive emotions regarding your regrets. Doing so disempowers regret instead of allowing it to disempower you. 

Little by little, by using gratitude in the various ways we’ve discussed, you will uncouple yourself from regret and false beliefs like you don’t deserve to be happy, etc.  

You will begin thinking clearly and feeling whole again. 

Regarding regret, be grateful for the choice you have to let it go once and for all. But nobody can let it go for you. So lay it down. Honor the lessons you learned. And continue journeying onward. What other choice do you have?

For when you do you won’t just see how things were but how they are and, most importantly, how they can be again, which will help you unlock your best life and marriage.