When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough
When you are around your spouse all the time, it is easy to nit-pick their flaws. Issues that were just mildly annoying in the honeymoon stage become major roadblocks to a happy marriage. You stop acknowledging their strengths and start nagging them about their weaknesses. The key to a healthy relationship lies in learning to recognize this process and stop it in its tracks.
“Catch” your spouse doing something right
Instead of criticizing and finding fault with your spouse, try to “catch” them doing something right. In other words, be on the lookout for reasons to praise your spouse and affirm their strengths.
When you do “catch” them doing something right, tell them how proud you are of them and their abilities. Make them feel good about themselves.
Accept your spouse’s weaknesses
When you accept your spouse’s weaknesses and stop expecting perfection from them it becomes easier to focus on what they are doing right. It also becomes easier to forgive them and let go of any resentment you may have towards them.
One way to keep yourself from focusing on your spouse’s flaws is to remind yourself that you are not perfect either. Any time you catch yourself obsessing over your spouse’s imperfections, try to think of some of your own flaws that your spouse has to deal with. This helps to put things into perspective.
Keep your love strong
If your love for your spouse is not strong, it will be difficult for you to accept and cope with his/her flaws. Therefore, you need to nurture your love every day. Tell your spouse you love them often – even if they already know. Also, show them you love them through your actions such as through hugs, kisses, gifts and acts of kindness.
By applying these three marriage tips to your relationship with your spouse, you can train yourself to focus on your spouse’s strengths and greatly increase your chances of a happy marriage.