Fighting about money is one of the top reasons for divorce.  Why? Because when couples argue about money, it is rarely the math that they are arguing about. Most of these arguments stem from conflicting attitudes and beliefs about money and financial responsibility.

How to Stop Fighting About Money

Understand and accept your differences

People can be divided into two groups depending on their attitudes and beliefs towards money: spenders and savers. Spenders do not consider money to be a valuable commodity. They see it as a means to personal welfare, satisfaction and happiness, and are always eager to spend.

Savers, on the other hand, see money as a valuable commodity. They believe that money should be cherished and protected because it provides a sense of accomplishment, stability, power and control. They consider self-indulgent expenditures to be wasteful and are greatly motivated by the possibility of achieving considerable wealth.

Are you a spender or a saver? What do you think your spouse is?

In order to stop fighting about money, you need to understand the differences in your attitudes towards it. You are more likely to have calm discussions about money when you accept that your spouse’s viewpoints are just as valid as yours.

Set common financial goals

Do you know each other’s individual financial goals?

Having common financial goals makes it easier for you to share financial responsibility and resolve disputes about money.  So, take some time to discussing your individual financial goals so that you can either find common ground or come up with suitable compromises. As long as you are both willing to negotiate and compromise, coming up with common goals shouldn’t be too hard.

Be completely honest with each other

Keeping secrets about money will inevitably lead to fighting and other relationship issues – such as lack of trust.  Therefore, you and your spouse should make a pact to always be honest with each other about finances no matter what. Resist the urge to hide the truth so as to protect each other from the stress of money problems.

Fighting about money is a known relationship killer. Therefore, if you want a long and successful marriage, you need to figure out how to stop arguing about money and share financial responsibility in a way that both you and your spouse are comfortable with.