What Has Marriage Taught You About Yourself?
Ever wondered why married people are healthier, wealthier and happier than single people? It’s probably because marriage is like a mirror. It forces us to see yourself for who you really are.
Marriage can bring out the “worst” and the “best” in you. You can’t go through marriage without finding out your strengths and weaknesses.
Here are some things that you are bound to learn about yourself as long you are married.
How you handle stress
Are you extremely vulnerable to stress or are you the voice of calm and reason during stressful times?
Being married is very stressful so it helps you discover how you handle stress. The best thing you can do it to treat it like a learning experience. Use it to improve your stress management and figure out what changes you need to make to your lifestyle to make it more manageable.
How you communicate
If you don’t already know your style of communication by the time you get married, you’ll find out soon enough! Within the first few months of marriage, you’ll know whether you’re the kind of person that prefers to share minimal and necessary information without ever diving into an in-depth conversation or the kind of person that likes to have a long, drawn-out conversation about everything.
The easiest way to measure how effectively you communicate is to evaluate how you feel after conversations. Do you feel like your needs have been addressed?
When communication is good, opinions and feelings flow freely between you and your spouse and each of you feels heard and supported. When it’s poor, you both feel attacked, dismissed and/or controlled.
How much “personal space” you need
Most people don’t realize just how much personal space and alone time they need in order to be a fully functioning human being until they get married. Nothing says you need more personal space like feeling drained all the time. On the hand, nothing says you need less personal space like feeling disconnected from your partner.
When you know how much space you need, you can communicate your needs to your spouse and establish the necessary boundaries.
However, don’t just say “I need space.” Be as specific as possible; if you’d like half an hour to yourself after work, ask for that.
Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself including how you handle stress, how you communicate and how alone time you need. If you use this information wisely, you can create the kind of marriage you desire.