Wedding anniversaries have a way of forcing you to take stock of your marriage, even if you’re happily married. They force you to acknowledge that your married life doesn’t always match your dreams. This can make you sad on what should be some of the happiest days of your marriage.

The quickest way to deal with anniversary blues is to quit focusing on the areas in which your married life doesn’t match your dreams, and focus on appreciating what you have. Just because you are not feeling intense pleasure and emotional ecstasy at the state of your marriage doesn’t mean you are not happy. An internal state of well-being and contentment is just as good.

Celebrate Your Anniversary

Instead of focusing on all the things that are not right in your marriage, focus on celebrating your anniversary. This might be a little difficult if your partner is not as enthusiastic about your anniversary as you are.

Don’t be shy about reminding your spouse that it’s your anniversary. There’s nothing wrong with that. While it can be a little hurtful that your spouse needs to be reminded that it’s your anniversary, it’s not necessarily as sign that he or she doesn’t care. What he or she does with the information is more important.

Also, don’t shy away from telling your spouse what you want on your anniversary. Your spouse might think that simply saying “happy anniversary” or getting you a card is enough. If you want more, tell your partner. Tell him or her that you would love it if he would take you to dinner and get you a gift. Suggest some anniversary ideas that you know you would be happy with. Remember, your spouse’s willingness to do these things for you is more important that whether or not he or she came up with the idea.

Dealing with anniversary blues is a lot easier when you are having the wedding anniversary celebration of your dreams. So, focus on making that happen.