Having a Healthy Marriage When Things are Changing
People and relationships change, it’s a fact of life. Things such as becoming parents, job loss, health problems, financial issues can change who you are as a person and change your healthy marriage with your spouse.
However, not all change is bad. Just because your spouse is changing doesn’t mean they are getting worse. Positive change can bring excitement into the relationship.
When Things Change
Don’t take it personally
It’s hard not to feel responsible for the change in your spouse and your relationship, especially when that change is negative. To have a healthy relationship, you have to learn to stop blaming yourself for whatever is going on with your spouse. For all you know, your spouse could be having a midlife crisis.
When you take the change personally, you begin to impose your own fears upon your partner. This can push you further apart and cause relationship problems.
Don’t try to prevent change
The worst thing you can do when your spouse and your marriage is changing is to try to hold on to the past. Doing so will only cause you pain. Instead, accept that things are shifting and rules are changing and rethink your old expectations.
Have a discussion
As soon as you realize things are changing, have a discussion with your spouse about how the change affects each of you separately and your relationship. This helps you to plan how you are going to deal with it.
Coping with change in a healthy marriage more often than not involves compromise. Compromise can mean different things at different times. There are times when it means being patient with your spouse and going along with their desires, and there are other times when it means meeting in the middle.
It’s possible to have a healthy marriage even when your spouse and your relationship is changing. You just have to be careful not to take the changes personally, embrace the change and find compromises that work for both of you.