We’ve all heard that marriage is about give and take. It’s supposed to create balance in the relationship so that both parties are giving and receiving at the same time.

The issue with this kind of marriage advice is that it creates situations where spouses give expecting to receive. This makes it very hard for them not to keep score and become resentful when they feel they’re giving way more than they’re getting.

Give-Give Relationship

One of the greatest perks of marriage is unconditional love. Loving for the joy of loving without worrying about when you will get a payback.

A give-give relationship is a relationship of abundance. Both parties receive enough love to meet their needs and fill their love tanks. Married life no longer feels sacrificial which makes it a lot more enjoyable and fulfilling. Below are some areas of marriage where give and give works much better than give and take.

Compliments

When you’re in a relationship with someone, you should be able to recognize their positive qualities and compliment them without expecting to get a compliment back. Keeping score on who has paid the other the most compliments can make you really resentful and is really bad for your marriage.

Chores and responsibilities

People hate feeling like they’re putting in all the effort while their spouses just sit back and do nothing. The easiest way to avoid this situation is for both of you to give 100% to the household chores and other responsibilities. Instead of trying to achieve a 50:50 split, it’s much easier to give it your all and then have your spouse do the same.

Intimacy and affection

This is one of the most common areas of dissatisfaction in marriage. If one spouse is more affectionate and intimate than the other is more laid back, the one who’s more intimate can end up feeling undesirable. However, when both spouses are affectionate towards each other, both of them feel loved and desirable.

You’ve probably read marriage advice that says marriage is about give and take. However, it’s very difficult to balance between the giving and taking. It’s a lot easier to just have a give-give relationship where you both give without expecting something in return. This will make your Christian marriage way better and happier.