Taking Responsibility Without Blaming Yourself For Your Marriage Problems
Humans are self conscious by nature so when something goes wrong, we tend to think it’s our fault. We have a hard time taking responsibility without blaming ourselves for our problems including marriage problems.
Think about it, what’s the first thing that comes to mind when your spouse is angry? Do you automatically jump to the conclusion that he or she is mad at you and start trying to figure out what you’ve done wrong?
The issue with this kind of thinking is that it can very easily lead you down the path of negative self perception and cause even more problems in your marriage. Here is some marriage advice to help you take responsibility without blaming yourself for things that are not your fault.
Recognize that your spouse may be dealing with their own issues
Self blame is a bit egotistical in nature. It comes from the assumption that everything is the direct result of our actions.
The truth is that often, your spouse’s actions are due to his or her owns issues and not because you did something wrong. It’s much easier to gain perspective on your responsibility when you let go of your ego.
It also helps to keep in mind that feelings are “self-generated” and the responsibility of their owners. Your spouse’s negative emotions are his or her own, and you should not blame yourself for them.
Take yourself out of the equation
Responsibility starts with acknowledging the ways in which your actions or inactions contributed to the situation. It is not about feeling guilty but about being self aware.
The tricky thing though is learning to only acknowledge your “share” of the responsibility; no more, no less. To do this, you need to take yourself out of the equation and attempt an honest and unbiased view of the situation.
The knowledge you gain from this assessment is empowering because it helps you realize that you are not exactly powerless. It may not be your “fault” but there’s definitely something that you can do about it.
The biggest difference between taking responsibility and blaming yourself lies in how it makes you feel. Taking responsibility leaves you feeling empowered while blaming yourself leaves you feeling frustrated about your marriage problems. With this marriage advice, you can learn why and how to change what you’re currently doing for the good of your Christian marriage.