Decision Making in a Romantic Relationship – Rational or Emotional?
A romantic relationship is emotional by nature. Many decisions are guided by the heart and emotions as opposed to the head. However, research shows that the way a couple makes decisions can have an effect on their marriage.
Couples that make thoughtful, intentional and rational decisions are happier than those that let emotion carry them through their married life. This is because it’s easier to follow through on well thought-out, rational decisions than emotional decisions. Simply put, if there are no reasons behind the things you do in your marriage, you’ll wake up one morning wondering why you’re even doing them in the first place.
Emotion based marriages are filled with chaos and inconsistency in all areas including finances and parenting. This is because the concepts of restraint and accountability are not factored into the decision making process . These kinds of marriages make it difficult for the couple to build the kind of emotional intimacy that accumulates over a lifetime of consistency and follow through.
Make Better Decisions In Your Marriage
Talking things through is the most important part of decision making in marriage. No matter how obvious the “right” decision is, you’ll never truly know whether you are making the decision with your head or your heart unless you talk things through with your spouse.
Having a conversation before making a decision also helps to make the decision-making a shared responsibility. This is important because studies show that some of the unhappiest people in marriage are those that feel like they have to bear the burden of decision making alone.
The goal of communication prior to decision making is not to have some kind of tug of war over your preferred decisions but to explore the pros and cons of each decision. As you gain a better understanding of each other’s concerns and preferences, it becomes easier to negotiate, compromise and come to a decision.
Once you have made a decision, follow through with it and give it some time to play out. Constantly second guessing your decision is only going to make life miserable for both of you.
The only way to know if it was the right decision is to let it play out and then evaluate. If it turns out that you made the wrong decision, correct it and move on; don’t beat yourself or your partner up about it.
Should You Ignore Your Emotions?
This article is not meant to encourage you to completely disregard your emotions when making decisions in a romantic relationship. It is just meant to make sure that you are aware of the ways in which your emotions can affect your decisions.
It is also meant to encourage you to explore the reasons behind you emotions. For instance,it’s possible that the reason why you have a bad feeling about a certain decision is because it goes against your values and principles. However, you may never realize this without exploring that bad feeling.
Emotional decision making can lead to a very unhappy marriage that is full of chaos and lacks follow through. The best way to avoid this in a romantic relationship is to let the rational part of your brain take charge.