Marital Problems: Dealing with Accusations of Infidelity
Accusations of infidelity between spouses are more common that you’d think. This is because it is very easy for spouses to mistake fizzling romance, lack of attention from their spouses and other marital problems for signs of infidelity.
Sadly, false accusations of infidelity made in anger or jest have ended many marriages. It is very difficult to stay in a marriage where there is no trust and you’re constantly trying to prove that you are faithful. To stop accusations of infidelity from ruining your marriage, you need to understand the reasons behind the accusations.
Why Your Spouse Thinks You Are Cheating
Most accusations of cheating stem from two things: Insecurity and projection.
Fear and insecurity based on past experiences is one of the main reasons why people accuse their spouses of cheating. If someone has cheated in the past, it is understandable that their spouse might be hypersensitive to any behavior that even remotely resembles a sign of cheating. Also, if someone has been cheated on in a past relationship, they might be extremely wary and constantly on the lookout for signs of infidelity.
Projection is another main reason why people accuse their spouses of infidelity. When someone is cheating, their guilty conscience makes them paranoid leading them to assume that their partner is doing the same. However, you should not be quick to assume that your spouse is projecting unless you have enough proof. Otherwise, your accusations would be just as bad as theirs.
Dealing with the Accusations
The best way to deal with accusations of infidelity is not to become defensive and start trying to prove that you’re not guilty. Wait until your spouse has calmed down and then talk to them and ask them what made them believe that you are being unfaithful.
This conversation should not be about putting your spouse on the spot and asking them to explain their accusations. It should be more of an examination of your marriage/ married life to identify any weak points or marital problems that may be causing your spouse to feel insecure.
Also, refrain from demanding an apology from your spouse during the conversation. It might make your spouse defensive and less willing to discuss the thinking behind the accusations.