Married Life: Are You Are Giving Too Much To Your Marriage?
Making sacrifices is part of married life. It demonstrates commitment to the marriage and shows your partner just how much love and care for them.
In fact, research has shown a strong correlation between a couple’s willingness to negotiate and compromise, and marital satisfaction. However, despite all the perks of marital compromise, it is possible to give “too much” to a marriage.
Marriage requires a healthy balance between give and take. You should be able to meet your partner’s needs without neglecting or depriving yourself unhealthily.
Why Are You Giving So Much?
The most important question you need to ask yourself is “why?” Why are you giving so much? What is your motivation?
Are you trying to avoid conflict with your partner or feel better about yourself? Do you intend to use your sacrifices as bargaining chips in the future? Do you feel a need to satisfy your partner’s needs at the cost of your own happiness?
The best kinds of sacrifices are those that are made with a goal to create a happy and mutually satisfying married life. All other sacrifices are a recipe for resentment and other marital problems.
It is possible that your partner doesn’t need or want you to make all the sacrifices that you are making. It is also possible that your sacrifices are not meeting your spouse’s needs. It’s probably why they haven’t acknowledged or expressed gratitude for your sacrifices!
If you feel like you are giving too much to your relationship, it’s probably time to renegotiate. Come up with a solution that doesn’t require too much sacrifice from either of you and if that isn’t an option, figure out a way to “soften the blow” of the sacrifice. For instance, if you move away from your family for your spouse’s career, set aside some money so that you can visit them often.
Don’t Keep Score!
There is no place for score-keeping in a happy marriage. Since it is impossible for you and your partner to make completely equal sacrifices, you cannot keep score without becoming resentful.
If you feel like you are giving too much to your marriage, it probably because you are neglecting your own needs. Speak up for your own needs and negotiate until you find a more suitable balance between give and take. Remember that mutual self-care is one of the keys to a healthy relationship and a happy married life.