We’ve all heard the old adage that familiarity breeds contempt. It is meant to imply that the more you know someone, the less you like them.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, familiarity is a necessary ingredient for a happy marriage. It creates a sense of security, satisfaction and unwavering assurance in the relationship, and is actually what sustains love and intimacy in marriage.  After all, you can’t love someone that you don’t know.

It is possible to reap all the benefits of familiarity without any of the contempt, but it involves a delicate balancing act. Here are some new marriage tips to help you get it right.

Show Love and Appreciation

One of the many ways in which familiarity breeds contempt is by causing a husband and wife to take each other for granted. They stop appreciating and complimenting each other, and the deep sense of security that comes with familiarity causes them to stop saying “I love you” to each another. Simply put, they become too comfortable with each other.

To avoid this, you need to keep paying attention to each other no matter how secure you feel in each other’s love. Realize that the only way to keep basking in the warmth of that love and is to keep doing the things that got you there in the first place.

Your Spouse is still not a Mind Reader!

Just because your spouse now knows you better that ever before doesn’t mean that they can read your mind. Don’t neglect to tell them what your needs are just because you think “they should know by now.” It is unwise to put that kind of pressure on your spouse. Also, telling your spouse what your needs are keeps you mindful of your dependence upon them and reminds you to show appreciation for them and for your happy marriage.

You Don’t Know What He/She’s Thinking

It’s always a bad idea to assume you know what someone is thinking or what someone’s needs are – even if that someone is your wife or husband. Assumptions are a hindrance to effective communication in marriage.

While it is possible to know what your spouse is thinking or what they need without asking them, it is always better to find out for sure. Remember, just because your spouse is not complaining or looking miserable doesn’t mean that they are satisfied with the marriage.

In marriage, familiarity doesn’t have to breed contempt. If handled correctly it can make a happy marriage even more secure and satisfying.