What do you do when life throws you a curve ball? When your partner is suffering and there is nothing you can do to change that? Truthfully, it is easy to feel helpless.

However, feeling helpless isn’t going to help you or your partner. Here are five marriage tips to help you stop feeling helpless and become a rock for your spouse to lean on.

Listen

In order to support your spouse properly, you need to know what exactly he/she is going through. Set aside some time to discuss the situation, how it affects both of you and your concerns. Ask questions about your partner’s perspective, experience and needs.

Don’t judge

If the tough times your spouse is experiencing are a result of a mistake they made, the last thing they need from you is judgment. Keep your opinions on the “mistake” to yourself or you’ll soon be needing marriage tips on how to save your marriage. The only exception is if your partner asks for your opinion.

Instead, remind your partner of his/her strengths and talents. Point out all the things they are good at and thank them for their contribution to your marriage and family.

Be a team player

Let your spouse know that you are teammates and you will walk with him/her through the difficult situation. Work together to develop a plan for how you are going to get through it and outline what each of you will do based on your strengths and availability. Don’t forget to pray with them and for them.

Support your partner’s efforts to cope with the stress

Recognize that you and your partner may have different coping styles and respect those differences. For instance, if your spouse copes with stress by withdrawing and avoiding the stressful event, don’t get angry or make them feel guilty about not giving you attention. It may not be the best way to cope with stress but it’s probably the only way they know how. Refrain from pointing out what they are doing wrong if you want to avoid marital problems.

Take a break from the tough times!

Don’t allow yourself to drown in your problems. You need time to refuel and remind yourself that your problems are just a small part of your lives and your happy marriage. Take a break by pursuing healthy distractions such as talking walks or watching movies together.

Tough times are a reality for all couples. What determines whether or not a couple will survive them is how they support each other during those tough times. The above marriage tips can help you to be a rock for your spouse during difficult situations.