Will having kids change your marriage? The short and simple answer is yes. In fact, the change that comes with having kids sometimes causes conflict and marital problems.

Parenthood changes who you are as a person, and this is bound to change your relationship with your spouse. It can change how, when and where you spend time with your spouse, what you talk about when you are together, and how you show love and affection to each other.

However, despite the myth, kids don’t ruin marriages. It’s just that the sudden change can be a little overwhelming for young couples – especially if they weren’t expecting it. Here is a list of ways in which having kids can change your marriage and some marriage tips to help you deal with the change.

Things That May Change After You Have Kids

How you keep romance alive

Having kids will change how you keep romance alive in your marriage. You probably won’t be able to have as many romantic dinners or weekend getaways as used to. However, this is no excuse to neglect romance. When you have kids, it’s the little things such as hugging and holding hands that keep the fire burning. Also, there are ways to have a romantic dinner or getaway without leaving your home.

How you show love and affection

Having kids will change who you are as individuals. You’ll see a new side to your spouse – the mother or father of your children. When this happens, don’t focus on how much you spouse has changed or how your spouse is no longer the person you married; this will only cause marital problems. Learn to see it as an opportunity to fall in love with your spouse all over again.

How you have fun

Having kids will also change how you have fun. You may not have as much time or energy for the activities you used to enjoy before but you’ll learn to enjoy the simple things such as walking the dog, working out, watching a movie or simply having a cup of coffee together. However, this is not to say that you have to give up all the fun activities that you enjoyed before. You’ll just need to be intentional about making time for them.

What you talk about

What you talk about with your spouse will probably change when you have kids. If you are used to having lively discussions about your shared interests, it may come as a surprise when you find yourself discussing babysitters. However, there’s really nothing to worry about. As long as you make time for your discussions once in a while, you should be fine.

When you have kids, you have to be more intentional about connecting and maintaining a happy marriage. You also have to learn not to sweat the small things and appreciate the little things. This can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed by all the changes and marital problems.