The modern dating culture encourages people to play mind games. In fact, most of the rules of dating, such as the 3-day rule, are simply mind games designed to manipulate people into behaving in certain ways.

Many people stop playing mind games once they are in a healthy relationship. However, some people just can’t help themselves.  They are so used to manipulating their partners that they do not know how else to get what they want.

To help you better understand what we mean by mind games and how they can affect your marriage, here are the top five mind games that married couples play.

The Top 5 Mind Games That Married Couples Play

Mind reader

Too many married people expect their spouses to be mind readers. They think that their partners should be able to pick-up on or figure-out what they are thinking or feeling.  This mind game is common in situations where there is lack of effective communication in marriage.

The trouble with this mind game is that it leaves both parties feeling short changed.  One person feels ignored while the other wonders why their partner is mad at them. The only way to end this mind game and have a healthy relationship is to encourage each another to communicate your thoughts, feelings and expectations using your words.

Hot and Cold

Some people are warm and loving one day and then cold and distant the next day. This leaves their partners feeling abused, like a yo-yo.

This mind game is especially common with people who deal with stress by withdrawing from their loved ones.  The only way to stop playing this mind game is to work on developing better stress coping mechanisms that do not involve being cold to loved ones.

Threats and ultimatums

Sometimes people try to manipulate and control the outcome of certain situations in their marriages by issuing threats and giving ultimatums to their spouses. For instance, some people will threaten their spouses with divorce if they do not get their wishes.

This mind game is usually a sign that someone is frustrated or in an unhappy marriage. They feel that the only way to get their spouse to really pay attention to them is to issue a threat or ultimatum. This situation can be fixed through better communication.

Playing mommy

Due to their natural mothering instinct, women sometimes treat their husband like children. Unfortunately, husbands, and adult in general, do not like being treated like children. It makes them feel micromanaged and controlled.

In order to stop “playing mommy” women have to learn to trust their husbands a lot more. They have to trust that their husbands can do what is required without being nagged or micromanaged.

Spoiled child

This game involves manipulating your spouse into doing what you want by acting like a spoiled child. It involves saying things like “don’t you think I’m worth it” or “I’m I not important to you” so as to guilt your partner into doing what you want. Although this mind game is quite effective, it leaves the other person feeling used and resentful. In the end, it’s much better to communicate what you want using your words.

These and other mind games are signs of an unhealthy relationship. If you want a healthy relationship and a happy marriage, don’t play mind games.