Put Your Spouse First – Advice for Newlyweds
The first year of marriage can be confusing. Many couples spend it trying to find a balance between their old and new lives and often end up feeling overwhelmed by the constant ‘juggling act’.
However, this ‘juggling act’ can be avoided by following just one important piece of advice for newlyweds: Put your spouse first. When you do this, everything else falls into place.
Put your spouse before your parents
When you get married, your relationship with your spouse becomes the most important relationship in your life – even more important than your relationship with your parents. Unfortunately, this means that your relationship with your parents has to change. You can’t keep asking their advice every time you need to make a decision. You need to get used to asking your spouse’s advice and opinions instead.
These changes can cause tension between you and your parents. In the beginning, they might feel hurt that you don’t “need” them anymore. However, parents usually come around with time, especially after they see how happy you are in your marriage.
Put your spouse before your work
Putting your wife and husband before your work is tricky. Obviously, you don’t want to risk losing your job because you are putting your spouse first. On the other hand, coming home late every day is not going to work – especially in your first year of marriage.
One way to put your spouse before your work without risking your job is to leave work at the same time every day. This way, your spouse knows when they can expect you home. If you are running late, call ahead. You can’t just show up hours after you were expected and expect a warm welcome.
When you get home, take some time to transition from work-mode to home-mode. You might want to change into more comfortable clothes and turn off your email alerts so that you are not tempted to check your work email.
Put your spouse before your children
This is arguably the most controversial advice for newlyweds. This is because many people cannot imagine putting their spouse before their kids.
However, parents need to understand that a happy marriage contributes greatly to the kids’ happiness. It makes them feel confident and secure, and teaches them how to communicate and resolve conflicts respectfully.
Children should not be raised to believe that they are the centre of their parents’ world. Parents should not cater to every one of their kids’ whim. If they do so, they risk raising entitled kids who lack perspective.
Most of the marital problems that newlyweds face in their first year can be avoided by following just one piece of advice for newlyweds: put your spouse first. If you follow this rule, you can overcome whatever challenge married life throws at you.