Common Causes of Marital Problems in the First Year
The first year of marriage is surprisingly difficult for most couples. This is when the emotional “high” of love begins to fade and reality starts to set in. Differences that were barely noticeable before start to cause marital problems and become impossible to ignore. This mostly happens when the newlyweds do not know what to expect and do not have the tools to deal with relationship issues that occur in the first year.
What to expect in the first year of marriage
During courtship, couples discuss what household roles each of them will take on once they are married. They discuss who will be the bread winner, bill payer, house cleaner etc. Unfortunately, due to inexperience, most of these discussions are over idealistic. Things rarely fall into place as expected and it is almost always necessary for the couple to review and renegotiate household roles.
Marriage changes your finances, and if your attitudes towards money are not aligned, you soon begin to blame each other for your financial mishaps. The only way to avoid this is to clearly define your core values. Decide what is important to you and budget for it together.
When a couple gets married, they must redefine their boundaries with their families. Some family members, especially parents, may have a hard time letting go and their attempts to stay connected may interfere with the marriage.
To avoid such interference, the couple must decide how much input they want from their inlaws and then communicate this decision to their inlaws. To ensure that the message is received positively, each person should communicate to their own parents.
When a couple is dating, the boundaries between “alone-time” and “together-time” are clearly defined. They spend time together and then go home to their respective houses for “alone-time.”
After marriage, the couple must figure out how to enjoy “alone-time” with some else in the house. The couple must also realize that they don’t have to do everything together. It’s okay to have individual hobbies and interests when you are married.
Laying a foundation for a happy marriage is tough. However, when you know what to expect, you can purposely seek advice for newlyweds to help you overcome the marital problems that commonly occur in the first year.