It is human nature to think that you would be happier if you had more. For instance, many married couples think they would have a happy marriage if they had more money, better and less stressful jobs and spent more quality time together. What they do not realize is that happiness has little to do with circumstances. In fact, studies show that only 10% of a person’s happiness can be attributed to their circumstances. The remaining 90% comes from having the right attitude in spite of the circumstances.

Change Your Mindset and Approach to Happiness

You catch more bees with honey

The way you approach your spouse regarding issues in your marriage can determine whether you are going to have a full-blown fight or deal with the issues calmly. When dealing with a spouse, it is best to take a soft approach regardless of what they have done. This may require you to change your tone and pick your words very carefully. For instance, statements such as “honey, I would appreciate it if you did this next time” or “honey, I really appreciate you doing this” can save you a lot of heartache.

Smile and hug

Make a point of smiling and hugging your spouse every morning and evening regardless of your marital problems. This helps dissolve any anger that you may have towards them because it is hard to stay mad at someone who smiles at and hugs you. It also helps you to feel more connected to your spouse.

Deal with issues immediately

If something is bothering you, let your spouse know immediately. Do not allow time for anger to buildup because when it eventually explodes, it will be a much bigger issue. Also do not take the passive aggressive approach and start giving your spouse the cold shoulder hoping that they will notice and ask you “what’s wrong?”  Doing so introduces unnecessary tension in the marriage.

Seek personal happiness

You cannot be in a happy marriage if you are not happy yourself. In fact, unhappiness in marriage is often the effect of past baggage. Unhappy people tend to pass on their anger to the people closest to them. They act mean towards their spouses, kids and other loved ones for no apparent reason. This is why it is important to seek individual happiness before trying to be happy with someone else.

A happy marriage can only be achieved when both parties actively try to make each other happy. This may be through treating each other with kindness, smiling and hugging more often and dealing with relationship issues as soon as they occur.