Since marriage is a union between two unique individuals, it is not uncommon for spouses to have different communication styles.  Unfortunately, this can lead to a communication gap and strife in the marriage. Thankfully this gap can be avoided by following a few simple rules of communication in relationships.

• Pause and listen –Conversations aren’t just about getting your point across. They are also about hearing what the other person has to say. Therefore, it is important to pause and listen when you are having a conversation with your spouse. Don’t wait for your spouse to interject.

• Pay attention to the conversation – Do you sometimes catch yourself not listening when your spouse is talking? This is a complete no-no when it comes to communication in relationships.  Not listening to your partner can hurt them and cause relationship problems. One neat trick that can help you pay attention during conversations with your spouse is the reflection method. This is where you listen to what your spouse is saying and try to rephrase what you hear in your own words. This should bring you back to the conversation.

• Be honest about your feelings – Do you sometimes conceal your true emotions from your spouse for fear of getting hurt? If yes, you are doing a disservice to both of you. Concealed emotions have a way of coming out at the most inconvenient time possible. Therefore, whether you choose to hide behind lies or give the silent treatment, your true emotions will come out eventually. So, save yourself some time and just be honest with your spouse.

• Be on the lookout for non-verbal communication – Just because your spouse isn’t talking doesn’t mean that he or she isn’t communicating. Observing your spouse’s body language can tell you a lot about he or she feels about something. So always watch your spouse’s eye contact, facial expressions, tone and general demeanor.  Do not forget to watch your body language as well and ensure it matches your words.

• Pick the right time to talk – Your spouse probably doesn’t want to be engaged in a serious conversation about your finances as soon as he/she comes home from work. Therefore, picking the right time to discuss certain topics can determine how well the conversation goes. If you pick the wrong time, the conversation could easily turn into an argument.

Communication in relationships is a learned skill which requires lots of practice. So start practicing today if you want to be a better communicator and have a healthy relationship.