Excuses are reasons given in an attempt to justify an offence and lessen responsibility. When people make excuses, they blame external factors for their mistakes instead of taking responsibility for them.  This is, however, not a good character trait as it can destroy healthy relationships.

Excuses are different from reasons although people often mix up the two. Excuses are a way to avoid responsibility, accountability and conflict, and, unfortunately, they aren’t always honest. Reasons, on the other, hand are genuine explanations that do not attempt to lessen responsibility in any way.  Obviously, there is an overlap between the two. There is a real reason behind every excuse. However, people often opt for excuses when they feel the real reason is not good enough to elicit sympathy or any other desired reaction from their spouses.

Since excuses are usually seen as a cop out, they can be the source of doubt, resentment and many other relationship problems. To avoid these, we must learn to take responsibility and not make excuses. Here is how to go about it.

Cut out Excuses and Take Responsibility

• Realize you are responsible for your happiness and the success of your marriage

You are responsible for every action and decision that you make, and there is not much that you cannot accomplish if you apply yourself. If your marriage isn’t going well, it is no one else’s fault but your own. This may seem like a huge burden but unless you rationalize and accept it, you will always be tempted to make excuses.

• It is okay to be wrong

Nobody likes to fail. Many of us would rather make excuses than accept that we have failed to live up to our spouses’ expectations. However, it is more successful to admit that you have failed and move past it than to make excuses and live in fear of being found out. You are also more likely to take responsibility and do things right the first time when you have no excuse to fall back on.

• Stay away from people who are always making excuses

Surrounding yourself with people who are always making excuses for their problems is comfortable because they will never challenge your excuses. However, it won’t get you far in life, love and marriage. Replace these friends with people in healthy relationships, who will not allow you to make excuses for your relationship problems.

• Accept total responsibility

Realize that you chose to get married out of your own free will and if you are unhappy, it is your fault. After all, it is a direct consequence of your decision. Once you accept total responsibility for everything that happens in your marriage, you will have an easier time coming up with solutions for your problems.

Taking responsibility will go a long way in preventing anger, resentment, and doubt from building up in your relationship. It will keep the two of you from blaming one another and help each of you to develop a strong character. Begin your journey to healthy relationships with your loved ones by cutting out the excuses today.